, Research Paper
There are many things in life I would like to accomplish. Most of all though, I aspire to be the world’s fattest man. This will allow me to complete my plans of world domination. To obtain this goal, I plan to begin a strict diet of Denny’s smothered cheese fries (french fires covered with cheese and bacon) and gravy after I complete high school. As soon as this diet becomes inefficient for my needs (when I can no longer fit in a booth or through the door), I plan to hire a team of illegal immigrants to care for me at my home. The team will make sure my intake of fat and calories is at the maximum amount before heart failure takes place. They will also bathe me with high pressure hoses and turn me occasionally to prevent bed sores. I hope to reach the weight of one thousand, five hundred pounds. Becoming the world’s fattest man is one of the few things I hope to accomplish in life.
If I can become the world’s fattest man, I will have reached the first step in my plans of world domination. My second goal to accomplish in life would be to lose my weight. If I could lose over one thousand pounds, I could easily become king of the weight loss industry. I hope to be the next Richard Simmons, but more popular. This would make me, perhaps, a multi-millionaire from book sales and promotional appearances. After I gain my fame, fortune, and old weight of 145 pounds, my second goal in life will be complete.
My third and final step for world domination would be to become dictator of the United States. I would use my popularity and wealth to my advantage, and run for president of the United States. After becoming president in a move stolen from Napoleon Bonaparte, I would hold a plebiscite in which hopefully the people of the United States would elect me dictator. After being elected dictator of the United States, I would rule the country justly in the form of a utopian, isocratic, socialism for many years. All though my country would appear harmless, I would have secretly organized the world’s largest armed forces. With my large military power, I will plan a worldwide strike on, the most dreaded day of all, Flag Day. The world would be terribly shocked at the brutality of the siege. I plan to turn the entire country of Canada into a large extension of the Arctic Ocean. By June 28th, 2055 the world shall be mine. These are the things I would like to most accomplish in life.