You And Why? Essay, Research Paper
An unfamiliar voice caused me to stop dead in my tracks as I was coming backto my table. Surreptitiously glancing through the foliage, I noticed two men pointing atsomething. Hesitant to announce my presence, I was very perplexed by the fact thatthe object they were staring at was my backpack! I was studying in the park andwalked off to get a drink of water, and when I came back, whom should I findexamining my worldly possessions but the great detective and his chronicler! Maybe Ishould tell him to mind his own business…on the other hand, I would like to see Mr.Sherlock Holmes struggle to find clues to my identity.
Meanwhile, Holmes and Watson were engrossed in their usual exercise indeduction, with no feelings of professional integrity to preclude them from viewing thecontents of my backpack.
“What can you gather from this mundane article, Watson?”
Watson dutifully furrowed his brow and attempted to employ his ingeniousfriend’s methods. “Aside from noting its battered appearance and its distorted shape,which, no doubt, results from transporting great weights, I can produce no inferencesabout its owner. You, I should imagine, feel like you have known him all your life?”
“Her, Watson, her. I conclude that the possessor of this book bag is a younglady of a scholarly nature, most likely a teenager, a student of various academicdisciplines. Her eyesight is most likely poor, and it seems that she is very erratic, buttries to make up for her shortcomings. She obviously prefers to perform simple tasksin exciting, unusual ways, likes a good discussion, and is not afraid to reveal heropinions. Self-conscious of her mistakes, she likes to straighten them out at the firstopportunity, and is well equipped to fight boredom. And this is my perfunctoryopinion. Had I met the girl, I would be able to tell you more.”
Letting out his traditional gasp of awe, Watson exclaimed, “Once again, mydear Holmes, you have outdone yourself! Pray tell me, how do you deduce all thisfrom such scarce clues?”
“It is simplicity itself. First of all, note the writing in green puff paint. ‘Omnia meamecum porto’–Latin for “I carry all my possessions with me.” A person who choosesto identify him or herself with such a phrase must be prepared to thoroughly explainand discuss it with any curious passersby. Then direct your attention to the contentsof this bag. Your “great weights” are textbooks, and their diverse titles demonstrateour young lady’s studiousness–Engineering Physics, Calculus, ExploringLanguage–hence my conclusion that she is diligent in many fields of learning. Othermiscellaneous objects have enabled me to evaluate her personality and age. A “StarWars” key chain, a case for eye glasses, white-out, nail polish–all these tell me thatthe possessor of this article is a teenager, a girl, with poor eyesight, and the white-outmeans she spots her own mistakes and tries to rectify them immediately. Havingdetected only one eating utensil–this pair of chopsticks, I assume that the simpleprocess of nutrition has been promoted by this girl to the status of entertainment. TheSwiss Army knife, the stapler, the flashlight, the bottle of aspirin all witness that shetries to be prepared for all situations. Interfering with these best of intentions is herforgetfulness–the knife is dull, the stapler is empty, as is the aspirin bottle. Finally,some poetry hastily scrawled on random sheets of paper tells me that she devotes herfree time to productive activities.”
“Holmes, you are indeed a genius. But let’s continue our walk.”
The two carried off their lively conversation elsewhere. Crawling out of thebushes, I resented the infringement of my privacy but also nurtured a vengeful thought:for someone as brilliant as Sherlock Holmes, you would think he’d notice toilet papertrailing behind his shoes.