Cap. Steve Rocket Essay, Research Paper
The Adventures of Captain Steve Rcket and the
Pimp-Mobile Alpha Two
“Captains log , stardate , Ah who cares. Im Captain Steve Rocket of the inter-galactic starship , pimp-mobile alpha two . We now are on the end of our very long journey home . We just got our Mary Jane core fixed as we were stranded on an alien planet. Here’s how it all started…”
“Captain we’re ready to go ,” says my beautiful flight attendant Alissa .(She’s my favorite of the crew she has curly, strawberry blonde hair , beautiful legs and the most perfect pair of …. , sorry I’m getting a little off subject .)”all right plot a course for the cannabis star system ,” I said .
” AY , aye captain ,” says the brunette goddess machelle . ( She’s a hottie too. ) ” take the helm Luke , I’m going to get a little better acquainted with some of my crew members while traveling through safe space ,” I said.
” Aye , aye cap,” says Luke as I motion the ladies to my quarters .
“Well ladies ever tried the best stuff earth has to offer , wait make that second I’m the best thing earth has to offer . Well anyways ,” I say as I pull out a fatty blunt . ” Wanna hit this .”
“Sure I thought you’d never ask ,” says Michelle .
“Thank god you’re a life saver . I thought this would be another mission where I had to sneak around just to get a few tokes ,” says Alissa . I lit up the fatty and passed it around a couple of times . We were gone by the third rotation . Then I started exploring other foreign galaxies and getting better acquainted with a couple of friends.(boung-chicka-boung-boung) Then all of the sudden , Boom !Boom !
“Captain , captain ,” Luke says over the intercom .
“Not now Luke ,” I say in frustration .
“Captain we’ve been hit didn’t you feel the whole ship shake ,” says Luke .
“Yeah I felt it , but I thought it was me , never mind I’ll be there in one sec. ” I say as I pull up my pants and put on my shirt. “You coming ladies .” I say as I walk out the door into the command room . “All right who the hell hit us .”
“It looks like captain legal from the anti-cannabisism movement ,” says Luke in panic .
” Damn I thought we killed him of an O D last time we faced my arch nemesis CAPTAIN LEGAL . ” I yell in disgust .
” I guess not cap , he’s firing again brace for impact , ” yells Luke . BOOM , BOOM. “Critical hit we’re going down .”
“Head for the nearest planet , Luke ,” I said .
(The ship careens into a big field of a foreign plant species.) “Is every body all right ?” I ask .
“Yup I’m all here cap ,” says Alissa .
“Thank God ,” I said “Everybody out I ran a check and the air is breathable .”
(We travel for hours till we find some sign of civilization.)
“Captain do you really think we are going to find replacement parts to repair the Mary Jane core ,” says Luke .
“Any thing is possible second captain stoobing . Sorry I’m still a little buzzed ,” I said .
“Captain look on the ridge its a little green creature ,” says Luke .
“Cool it looks like a little bud .”I say . “Wow the whole mountains turning green .”
“No Cap I guess your still trippin . I told you don’t smoke our sale without me .”says Luke .
“Easy cowboy I smoked some *censored* I brought , not our sale . “ I said .
“Hey where did the alien go .” says Alissa .
“ I don’t know but here come his friends .” I said . “I really hope they come in peace . Luke turn on the alien voice descambler .”
“OK Cap .” says Luke .
( Will Captain Steve and his companions meet their fate or will they communicate peacefully with the aliens . Find out next week on …. Alright I’m just playing I always wanted to say that .)
“The aliens seem to understand us cap and their motioning us to follow .” says Luke . We walk along then ridge following the alien . Millions and millions of aliens surround us on both sides of the ridge . They lead us through the ridge and we see the most intricate set of buildings we have seen . The buildings themselves must have stood miles high . They glistened in the golden sunset . On the moving walking platforms above we see thousands of little green beady heads starring at us in amazement . The alien goes towards a large elegant looking building . He leads us inside and the whole corridor is filled with those same plants that cushioned our ship . We follow the alien deeper into the corridor where we enter a smoke filled room.
“Hey I know that smell.” I say .
“Yeah cap that smells like our best selling earth materials we sell through out the galaxy .” says Luke .
“Yeah but it doesn’t smell exactly the same it has more of an exotic smell . Hey do you know what I’m thinking Luke ?”I said .
“No , What cap.” says Luke.
“ If we make a good deal with these aliens we can sell this stuff , but I wanna try it first .” I say
“ Yeah that would be smart .” says Luke sarcastically . We walk through the smoke filled room to big throne with a big dude sitting on it .
“ Mr. Alien leader guy we come in peace and would like to discuss matters of business .” I said .
“ We except respect your suggestions and will do . First lets get to know each other a little bit . My name is WinChinDojaGhanghi . Easily translated in your language to Green Reefer .” Says Green .
“Kick ass name man . You know we sell stuff with that name . It’s a really big-ticket item ever since the word got around the galaxy. Now everybody wants some . So we built this ship and grew enough to go out seeking new life and new civilizations and to boldly go where no one has heard of Green Bud before. Kick ass job huh.” I say .
“ Yes very interesting I grow some of this stuff you call green bud . We are an exploring people we search and scavenge through space and find bits of things from planets lost . Then one day we found a metal box filled with the translation of the English dialect and instructions on what to do with the contents . We learned your language and planted the seeds . When one day those crops caught fire. The plants were in my personal chambers at the time . I began to feel strange and giggly . Next thing I knew I was having so much fun . So I grew what plants I had left and modified them to suit a better what you call high .” says Green .
“kick ass man here I’ll match bowls with you .First we’ll smoke mine.” I say .
“Ok I agree . Here use my smoking piece .” Green says as his servants roll out an eight chambered water bong .
“Wow this reminds me of some weird dream I had when I was frying on some star stamps in the sixties .” I say . So I pack a bowl . I let green hit it first . He lights some sort of weird lighter and fills the chambers with smoke . Then he clears all the chambers like it didn’t even phase him . Then he lets out a big cough and blows out more smoke then I’ve seen anybody in my whole life . So I step up to the challenge . I take out my trusty lighter and light the bowl . I inhale and clear all the chambers . I’m trying to hold it in as long as possible when I begin so cough loudly .
“Good *censored* man now it’s my turn .” says Green . He pulls a baggie out of his pocket that has a picture of his alien head and it says Green Reefer through it . He puts the stuff into the bowl and lets me hit first . I take a hit and when the chambers filled up they started glowing a silverish color. I try to clear the chambers and begin to feel lightheaded but don’t care so I proceed to clear the chambers . When I got it into my lungs I began to relax and let out this huge mushroom cloud of the silverish smoke .
“Man that’s some good stuff man I felt like I was gonna pass out man . wow that stuff is no joke .” I said .
“ Yes I know your friends can have the rest cause I have my own piece .” Green says as he pulls out another baggie and a gold water pipe .
“ Come on guys this is some good stuff .” I say .
“ Alright don’t have to ask us twice .” says my crew simultaneously . We all smoke the bud up with the aliens and they treat us to a great meal . Good for the person with major munchies . Then they led us to our room . When we went inside I laid down and started to fall asleep when Luke leaves the room to go talk to Green about the core.
“Psst , Psst , cap wake up I wake up I found some more let’s try some more out . “ says Alissa .
“ Sure , they said that they would put some in our room for us .” I say .
We all start to smoke again then things get a little out of hand with Alissa , Michelle , and me . (Boung –Chicka-Boung-Boung) . I awake next to two beautiful ladies while Luke is slapping my face trying to wake me up .
“Luke I am your father .” I say incoherently .
“What the hell you talking about cap.” says Luke.
“Oh nothing just thinking of an old earth movie .” I said .
“Oh well I talked with Green last night and got replacement parts for our Mary Jane core . He also said if we give him some of our earth bud he’ll give us a carton of seeds and forty kilos and a modification for our core to run off of the alien bud .” says Luke.
“Well let’s get going man we have appointments to keep and a really anal DR. Legal to kill.” I said .
We accepted the deal with the aliens they also told us to come back whenever . So we are running on our new Mary Jane core and we get twice as far in the same amount of time as the old one . Well the alien bud turns out to be as good as a sale as the earth bud so we make it rich and plan to retire in Bud Springs on planet Green Reefer . And we continue our journey for now of getting faded and having sex with lots of alien babes . So see you next time . Bye for now ,
Captain , Steve Rocket
I am 16