Gentlemen Essay, Research Paper
When you hear the word gentleman what does it make you think of? Does it make you think of your father? How about your husband or boyfriend? Do you consider these males, in your life, to be gentlemen? You should. These are very influential people in your life, and they should be gentlemen. They should be firm yet gentle. These gentlemen should be teaching the youth of our time how to become gentlemen as well. There is a lack of gentlemen and that should not be the case. In fact, we as a society should have an abundance of gentlemen. A gentleman is a male who not only possesses manners, dresses nicely, and has the ability to treat everyone as an equal. He is also not embarrassed to show that he is a gentleman.
Manners are important to posses. They get people noticed. Manners are not hard to learn yet so many people lack them. Holding a door open for a person goes a long way. Usually when you do this people are grateful. Something like that should not have to be thought about. It should just happen. Holding a door open for anyone, not just females, should be an automatic thing; if it is not automatic then you are liable to forget to do it and then someone might think that you are shallow and not well mannered. You also have to realize that it s not only the person that you hold the door open for that notices what you have done. Others that are around will take notice of this act. An act such as holding open a door should be done out of the goodness of your heart. You should not be looking for something like a thank you in return. That s not the reason for holding a door open. In a perfect world a person will say thank you but it doesn t always work like that. Just remember that if someone holds the door open for you then you should thank him or her. It s only common courtesy, but it still amazes me how many people do not acknowledge such an act. It is extremely rude and reflects badly on you. Remember, a gentleman always says thank you . It serves to reinforce to the other person that what they have done is a valued act. Also, it is important to reply with something like, You re welcome. This is, again, to acknowledge the other person.
A gentleman always remembers to utilize please and thank you . They may seem like mere words, but they can be the difference between someone thinking that you are a well-mannered person, or someone thinking that you are just another ignorant derelict. It s amazing how everyone takes these words for granted, but if you forget to use them then you will be looked upon as ignorant. A gentleman is not ignorant. He remembers to utilize these words to the full extent. This means that he has to realize that he has to use these words every time they are applicable. According to Mary Held, she says that, Around the office the response (of what makes a male a gentleman) was -respectful of women, courtesy & kindness, manners, polite, good grooming, holds doors open, remembers important dates, well spoken. Although these are the words of one person, this answer was compiled of a few people in the office that Mary Held works in.
When it comes to people of the opposite sex it still doesn t hurt to pull out a chair before they before they sit down, or offer them your coat, and things like that. I ve known a few females that were against things like that. They felt like they didn t require preferential treatment, and so you have to learn to adjust. A gentleman is able to adjust to other people s likes and dislikes, but also knows who he is himself. On the whole though, it doesn t hurt to show some courtesy like that towards females. When you pull out a chair for a female it shows that you are looking out for them. You are not trying to score points for later, because remember, like Coach Eddie Ushold says, You should treat a female like you would want your daughter, or sister treated. Anything less would be looked upon as ungentlemanly. Coach Ushold is the new head baseball coach, and is trying to bring a new, more gentleman, look to the Olivet College baseball team.
Not only does a male have to posses manners but he also has to dress respectably. He should look neat when it comes to facial hair. It is fine to have facial hair as long as it is neatly kept. When you look at advertisements in things like Sears catalogues, or TV ads, you see neatly trimmed hair on all of the male models. There will also be a slogan like, Get this jacket for the gentleman in your life. This suggests that if you are a gentleman, then you will dress in a nice way. Usually, dressing in a nice way means that the gentleman will be wearing something comfortable like khakis or jeans, with no holes in them. He will wear shoes that are very conservative but nothing too flashy but something that looks respectable. As for a shirt, he will wear something probably with a collar, or a sweatshirt. Once again, these things cannot have any holes. It s kind of like a businessman type of look that these advertisements want to try and sell to men, to make them think that is how gentlemen dress. You don t necessarily have to shop at that store but you do have to look a certain way. Most of the time you will see those model gentlemen dress in the way that is described in the same way as described above.
The way you look is just as important as how you act. If you want to be considered a gentleman it is helpful to look like a gentleman. It is amazing how people react to others just by what they wear. If a person were to watch others as they walked through a mall, they would notice that people will follow others with their eyes and from that they will make certain instant judgements about that person. People do discriminate and judge you by the things you wear. This may not be correct but it does happen. Therefore, to save yourself some problems you should dress in a respectable manner. If you dress in a very extreme way then, more than likely, you are going to attract some unnecessary attention. Wearing pants that are six sizes too big, and wearing shirts with controversial slogans may not be what you are looking to portray to others.
If you dress in a respectable manner then it also help when it comes to how females perceive you. If you dress in a conservative way then you will be perceived as non-threatening. That is at least a first step in the right direction. It also goes towards that whole gentleman mentality; if you act pleasant you should also look pleasant.
The goal of a gentleman is to treat not just females, but everyone as equals. According to John Henry Cardinal Newman a gentleman s greatest concern is, to make every one at their ease and at home. He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd; (The Victoria Web, Newman on the Gentleman) We are living in an age where discrimination is becoming less and less prominent. A true test of a gentleman is to see if he treats everyone the same, and not just the female companion that he may happen to be with.
In the words of Jack Bradley, a father of a friend of mine, he states that a gentleman has, The ability to care for some one as you’d like to be cared for. To treat everyone as your equal and to go out of your way to assist someone without looking for restitution. This comment comes from a regular person like you and I. Now, although this is only the thought of one person, imagine if we all acted this way? We would live in a society where everyone would carry a respect for everyone else. There would be gentlemen all over the place, just as it should be. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and a gentleman realizes this and strives to accomplish this.
According to Tracy Logan, an Olivet College student, she states, A gentlemen is a man who can retain his values and morals even under duress. In that way he is strong. He is equally kind to all people no matter their status or race or sex. He is equally kind even if he knows he will not receive the same treatment back. He understands that his actions must be judged by a certain standard no matter what the circumstances. He gives all people a basic measure of respect simply for being human. A gentleman hates injustice and will stand up for those to weak to protect themselves. This is probably one of the most important ideals in being a gentleman, and this is usually what sets apart the males who know how to pretend how to be a gentleman, and those who really are gentlemen.
All males have the ability to be a gentleman. It depends on how those males view themselves. According to a former English teacher of mine, At conception we are all gentle men. It is only the harsh realities of society that tarnish this gentle quality. Males are socialized to be hard, insensitive, unemotional creatures. If we look at various people around us we can see how true this statement is.
I had a friend, named Mark Caswell, back in Brampton, Ontario. He used to be one of the most polite and gentle people that I know. Once he started playing hockey his entire personality changed. He went from a very mild-mannered person to this extremely rude and rough person. It was because of the people that he was hanging around that caused this change. It was not because of the game of hockey that he changed, because there are many people that I know that play hockey and yet they are some of the biggest gentlemen that you will ever meet. The game itself demands that you play it with a respect for others even though you need to be tough.
We are exposed to people like Dennis Rodman who are influential people on today s youth. They look at him and they admire what he does and what he represents. He always has a different lady hanging off of his arm, while pulling down a rebound, and punching someone else in the face. Kids look at this and wonder what it would be like to do that, but they don t realize that the way he acts does not mean that everyone can act like that. It is a sad fact but there are rules for some and then there are rules for others; and kids don t realize that. Kids need to realize that it is better to play the gentleman than it is to play the crazy, non-respectful, player that Dennis Rodman is. They need to know this because not everyone can become a person like Dennis Rodman, and get away with it. It is much easier, and better for our society if we had more kids growing up wanting to become a gentleman.
A gentleman does not need to be flamboyant to be noticed in a crowd. He will be noticed by many because of his reputation and his mannerisms. His serene manner speaks volumes to those around him. A true gentleman has the ability to attract the right attention when necessary. This may sound like it is on the soft side but according to Mr. Bradley, again, he states, One who is courteous, considerate and confident and isn’t embarrassed to show others that he is.
Being courteous (although already discussed) involves manners, and the way you carry out actions. According to my friend Melanie Sheets, He should be considerate when making plans, etc. She touches on one really specific point, about plans. Far too often we get caught up in our own lives, and then we stop to consider what others have planned or how they are feeling. A gentleman does not let this happen because he is aware of the needs and values of other people. He does not disregard his own wants and needs, but he does consider everyone when making plans. We must also realize that we are human, and that mistakes are a part of life. A male who is a gentleman will be forgiven as long as he is sincere in his apology.
When it is stated that a gentleman has to be confident, it does not mean overly so. By being over-confident then people will get the impression that you are cocky, and that is not what a gentleman wants at all. When Mr. Bradley says that a gentleman needs to be confident he is talking about how a male should carry himself. It is fine to be slightly hesitant in what you do; hesitation goes away with time. Even though you may be hesitant make sure that you keep a self confidence, because if you lose that then you are going to be in quite a bit of trouble. Self-confidence is something that you control. If you let people destroy your self-confidence then you are not going to be able to take other people into consideration, because you will be self-conscious. Stay mentally strong and other people will not be able to bother you.
One of the biggest things that a gentleman does not have a problem with is being sincere. If you are sincere then everything else comes with ease. People will value what you have to say, and they will forgive you when you make a mistake. If you are sincere with the people that you interact with then they will take your advice for what it s worth.
Being sincere and being honest are almost on the same level. The difference between being sincere and honest is that with honesty comes the truth; and with the truth can come some damage. The truth can hurt, but it is better to be honest with a person than tell a lie and then get caught in it later. Not only will the person be upset with the truth, but they will also be disappointed in you. Their confidence in you will be gone and you will no longer be a gentleman in their eyes.
Being sincere comes from the heart. When you care for someone you are going to be sincere towards him or her, but it shouldn t just stop there. You should be sincere towards everyone. People will appreciate it later on.
While possessing manners, dressing well, and treating people as equal are good, we still must consider that we, as gentlemen, have to be able to act like a gentleman around everyone. Being a gentleman should not be something that you can turn on and off. It should be a part of your being. There is such a lack in true gentlemen because most males only put on an act, in an attempt to score with a member of the opposite sex. This is not the image that true gentlemen carry around, but it is difficult to tell between males who are putting on an act, and truly sincere gentlemen. Mind you, a true gentleman will not try to score . He would wait until both members of the relationship were committed. Mr. Bradley shares this same type of view, A male becomes a gentleman while courting and then walking that special person down the aisle. Staying that way takes some practice! Too often a slide back into the male mould takes place but for many the gentleman is within us – just has to take something to bring it out.
Being a gentleman especially includes doing the little things. According to my friend Stephanie, from Quebec, she says, When he spends some time alone with her, and not always his friends; when he makes her little presents; when he has the right answer to- Do you know what day it is? When he makes her dinner: those things do not have to be done every day, but a couple of times a year would be cool!” It s amazing how far the little things go in any kind of relationship.
When it comes to being a gentleman you have to be on the ball. Be alert and courteous. Take other people into consideration, but don t forget about yourself. This is only accomplished if you follow what is described in this essay. Be creative, but don t forget that there is more than just you on this planet. A gentleman who is on the ball will be noticed with ease. Because he is alert he will be able to show that he is courteous and has manners. Sometimes you do have to look out for yourself. That s not being selfish, it s being human. Being a gentleman is not easy but by working hard towards becoming one will pay off huge in the end.