Parent-Child Association Essay, Research Paper
Some consider the most important aspect of the nuclear family is that of the relationship a child possesses with his parents. True, although, without this relationship, a child can still turn out to be a well-behaved child. However, in turn, they can also develop a defiant nature against their elders. Likewise, there are many other aspects that concern these relationships. For instance, there is the neglect that a child can receive from his parents, or that having a dominant mentor. Though these are merely a few of the examples of the parent-child relationship, there is one fact that cannot be denied. In some facet, all parents have an association with their children. This association can be seen in “Barn Burning”, “A Rose for Emily”, “The Horse Dealer’s Daughter”, “A Good Man is Hard to Find”, and others.
Dominating parents are seen throughout “A Good Fan is Hard to Find.” A dominating dead parent is seen throughout “A Rose for Emily”, and “The Horse Dealer’s Daughter.” Dominating parents can be a nuisance as seen in “A Good Man Is Hard to Find.” The grandmother still lives with her son, Bailey, and tries to control him and his family. First, the grandmother wants to go to Tennessee, so she nags Bailey at every chance she gets. She says, “The children have been to Florida before, . . . you all ought to take them somewhere else . . . they never been to East Tennessee” (O’Connor 385). By this time, even Bailey’s children thinks she is getting annoying and comment, “If you
don’t want to go to Florida why dontcha stay at home?” (O’Connor 385). The grandmother, being the dominating elder she is, gets her way, even “tries” to dominate the misfit, which results in her death. On the other hand, Emily and Mabel are seen as living in the lives of their father, which are dead. Emily Grierson lived in the footsteps of her dead father, because of how he treated her as a child. As Faulkner writes, “We remember all the young men her father had driven away, and we knew that with nothing left, she would have to cling to that which had robbed her, as people will”(77), this is why Emily told the ladies that her father was not dead, and she keeps his dead body for three days after his death. She kills her husband from the result of her father driving the men away when she was young. In correlation, Mabel’s deceased father dominates her. Mabel wants to be like her father who became a reasonably large horse dealer. She knows that at one time “The stables had been full of horses, … then the kitchen was full of servants”(Lawrence 590), and now that he has passed away, and all of the servants and horses are no more. Mabel’s existence solely relies on her father, and is shown by Jenkins when he says, “As long as the father lived she had an identity – he provided money and she felt ‘established’”(211). Even though controlled by her father, Mabel feels overwhelmed by poverty and tries to take her own life.
Neglecting a child is probably the most horrible thing a parent can do to their child. Neglect makes a person feel like they are worth nothing, and that their parents don’t care for them. A neglecting parent is shown in “A Good Man Is Hard to Find”, and “Miles City, Montana”. The neglected child in “A Good Man Is Hard to Find” is the Misfit. The Misfit murdered his own father out of cold blood. The Misfit mentions that
his dad once said, “It’s some that can live their while life out without asking about it and it’s others has to know why it is, and this boy is one of the latters. He’s going to be into everything,”(O’Connor 392). Also, Thompson states, “He functions well with ‘no help,’”(4). The Misfit kills his father out of neglect, and self-worthlessness. The Misfit feels unloved, like most children do when their parents do not pay attention to them and care for them. Both parents in “Miles City, Montana” also neglect their son, Steve Gauley. First, Steve’s mom leaves Steve and his father, and then his father in turn still neglects his own son. Munro writes, “His fatherhood seemed accidental, and due to the fact that the child had been left with him . . . seemed accidental,”(471). If this does not seem wrong enough, Steve’s father only gives him enough money to live off of. They live their own separate life. What kind of parent would do this to his/her own flesh and blood? It is also stated by Munro, “His father was . . . a drinker but not a drunk,”(471). This is one possible reason why Steve is neglected, and is probably why so many children are uncared for in this world today.
Rebellious children can also stem from bad parenting. In one case of rebellion, Sartoris Snopes goes against the beliefs of his family. Sarty “tries harder and harder to persuade himself that his father will change,”(334) as stated by Bradford. Sarty believes that his father will change, but finally realizes that his father will always stay the same man. Sarty reveals to De Spain that his father is burning down De Spain’s barn. Sarty’s rebelliousness is good, because Abner needs to set a good example for children, not a bad example, and due to Sarty’s virtuous mentality, he will never be like his father.
Joy rebels against Mrs. Hopewell, her mother, by changing for name legally without her consent from Joy to Hulga. Mrs. Hopewell feels Joy has “thought and thought until she had hit upon the ugliest name in any language”(O’Connor 397). In all actuality, Hulga rebels against her mom by changing her name, but she does not do so to despise her mother. Hulga changes her name to better suit her, and because “it’s full genius of its fitness had struck her”(O’Connor 398). The word “Hulga” comes from the Norse word “heilgar”, which means “holy”(Holsen 59). Hulga knows what her name means, and uses it to fully express her inner self.
A rebellious child can also stem from a loving, caring, well-mannered parent. In “Revelation”, the ugly girl named Mary Grace is rebellious towards her mother. Ruby Turpin asks her a question and Mary declines to answer. Mary’s mother says, “The lady asked you a question, Mary Grace”, and Mary snaps back, “I have ears”(O’Connor 416). Mary offends her mother by the rudeness, because the mother knows she has raised Mary better than that. Mary then throws a book at Ruby and strikes her over the eye, which in turn Mary’s mother and a nurse restrain her. Depending on how some people are raised, the rebellious actions one takes should be handled carefully by parents. Her mother should not tolerate the rebellion and rash decisions of Mary.
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