Divorce Essay, Research Paper
A divorce is something that no family member wishes to go through, especially if they have children together. However, in today s society more people are going through divorce. Many people separate because they are not getting along with each other and have had many difficulties trying to reside with each other, or they have just found someone else. Whatever the case may be divorce is a long and stressful event in a person s life. I ve seen the effects on a family that has gone through a divorce; some families can handle it and others cannot. What makes a divorce even more difficult is when the parents have children. The children don t know what to do in this type of situation and sometimes blame themselves for what is happening. Divorce is probably the most stressful of events that someone must deal with in their life, except the death of a loved one. Divorce affects every family member. Each member may just take the pain of separation a different way. After a divorce a mother might feel relieved if she initiated it. She is probably somewhat pleased that she does not have to go through the consistent arguments that they once did. On the other hand if the father was the one that wanted the divorce, then the mother might feel as if she failed not only as a wife, but also as a mother if they had children together.
The effects on the father are mostly the same that the mother goes through, but after a divorce the wife tends to get the most of things, such as the house, legal rights for the children, child support. The father if it was not his decision to separate is also going to have a sense of failure. He too has some adjustments in his life to make. The father has to find a new place to stay, and figure out a way in which he can still see his children. Setting up a new home for the father is not going to be easy. There is going to be more expenses, even though he is not married, because he has to find a home and start from the beginning, and then he still need to either pay child support or if the mother and father can talk civilly then they might set something up that they both can agree on. Such as: visitation rights, expenses, and the children s education.
When a family has children, whether they are young or in their adolescent ages each may take divorce their own way. Most children go through similar experiences such as: economic loss, in which children living in single parent families are less likely to have the funds that two parent families tend to have. Other experiences can be, more added stress, lack of parental guidance, etc.
Young children may experience feelings of anger, sadness, and anxiety. They have a hard time coping with the separation of their parents. The reason why children have a hard time dealing with the loss of a parent is because when they are young that is when the parents are most needed to guide and nurture their child. Sometimes they can even be persuaded to side with one parent and blame the other for what is happening. For instance, if there have been continuing arguments at home and things look like there falling apart between the mother and her child; she might say, well you can thank you father for this , and blame the father for what happened.
Discipline might tend to become harder for the boys if they become more aggressive and uncooperative both at home and in school. They may not listen to their parents, and just do as they please. Girls usually become closer to their mother. Either spending more time with her or helping out more around the house. Both boys and girls might also suffer from poor school grades or have trouble getting along with their friends, because they might still be shocked from their parents divorce; and just not seem to hang out or talk to their friends as much. Poor school grades among children are very common, they might just not be motivated anymore or just don t care about their education.
Adolescents, usually deal with divorce better than the younger children because they are older and tend to be more involved to what is going on with the family. The ways boys and girls at this age try to cope with divorce could be becoming more involved with themselves; one way may be going out more with their friends or working longer hours, versus staying home and helping out around the house. They also might become depressed about what has happened and maybe isolate themselves from their friends or people trying to help them, a time in which they need their friends.
There are some families handle divorce very well and you could never tell that it happened, expect of course you have to live with the fact that you are further away from one of your parents. Many children can handle this type of situation well, but their going to need help and reassurance. They are going to have to communicate more and spend more time with the family, because as children you need guidance and nobody can give that better then your parents. Divorced couples if they have children and can t seem to even talk to each other (husband and wife) should make an agreement to be able to for their children s sake.
Today, more couples have been getting divorced. Numerous reasons lead to divorce; such as got married too early, consistent quarrels, or just not happy with each other. Whatever the case may be, divorce is a big step in someone s life and in many instances life changing.