Bible: How To Be A Father Essay, Research Paper
How to Be a Father
Timothy Parker
Gary Turner, Bible 12
5-11-2001
How to be a Father
I. Introduction
II. God’s Example in the Bible
A. Adam
B. Noah
C. Abraham
D. Jesus
III. Fathers in the Bible
A. Adam
B. Abraham
C. Isaac
D. Jacob
IV. God’s instructions on how to be a father
A. Ephesians 6:4
B. Deuteronomy 21:18-21
C. Deuteronomy 22:13-18
D. Thessalonians 2:11
V. Children are gifts
A.. Point Man 190, 3-1
B. Point Man 195, 3-2
C. Point Man 196, 3-3
D. Point Man 197, 3-4
VI. Fathers with wives
A. Point Man 215, 4-1
B. Point Man 310, 4-3
VII. Fathers and their daughters
A. Point Man 212
B. Point Man 212(b)
C. Point Man 213
D. Father 75
VIII. Fathers and their sons
A.. Anderson 3
B. Anderson 2
C. Anderson 137
IX. Fathers in the home
A. Putting family before work
B. Believing that family welfare is more important than earthly possessions
C. Stepfathers’ role in the family
X. Fathers as spiritual leaders
A. Dobson 37, 8-1
B. Tender Warrior 26, 8-2
C. Spending time with God
1. Set apart time
D. Five Goals of a father
1. Knowing and obeying Jesus Christ
2. Knowing and displaying Godly character
3. Knowing and loving my wife
4. Knowing and loving my children
5. Knowing my gifts and abilities.
XI. Conclusion
Introduction
Being a father is one of the greatest things a man can do. Not every man has what it takes to be a father. God has only granted certain men with this very important job. In a perfect world a man becomes a father when his wife gives birth to a child, but in today’s society it is not necessarily a MAN’s wife that may give birth to his child but a girlfriend. No matter how it happens it all starts out the same way. A man and a woman have sex and then if her egg is fertilized by the man’s sperm she becomes impregnated. Taking into account that there are no problems with her pregnancy a woman will have a baby in roughly nine months. The woman becomes a mother and the man becomes a father, this does not mean that he necessarily knows what to do but over time he will acquire the knowledge it takes to be a father. God designed for men to become fathers not at an early age but at a later age so they would be knowledgeable and mature enough to be a father.
God’s Example in the Bible
Throughout the Bible there is a pattern of men being the head of the family. This was God’s design and he wanted to make sure it was followed. It all started with Adam. God first made a man not a woman. This is because it was his plan to make man the head. This pattern continued throughout the whole Bible when God wanted something done he went to men. Such as when he wanted to destroy the earth by water he chose Noah as his man.
“13And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. 14Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. 15And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits. 16A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it. 17And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to
destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die. 18But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee. Genesis 6:13-18″
Noah was the only person whom God gave the instructions to on how to build the ark. God chose to give them to a man. Another example of God choosing a man is Abraham. God needed someone to be the father of his nation and he chose Abraham.
“4As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations. 5Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. 6And I will
make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee. Genesis 17:4-6″
Abraham was chosen to be God’s man in making sure there was a nation of God’s people. The best example of God choosing men to be the leaders is Jesus. God sent his only son to come to this earth and die a lowly death. God did not have a daughter but if he did he would have still sent his son because God has called men to be leaders not women. Jesus was God’s son.
“And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.”
Luke 1:35″
Fathers in the Bible
The first father was Adam. Adam and Eve were blessed with many children and Adam became known as the father of all. Adam was not the only father in the Bible. There were many others, most of them being a better example than Adam on how to be a father. Adam was a bad example in that he gave in to temptation by eating of the forbidden fruit. “…and gave also unto her husband with her: and he did eat. Genesis 3:6 “ There were also many fathers in the Bible that did follow God. One such father was Abraham.
“6And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together. 7And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering? 8And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together. 9And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood. 10And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.
Genesis 22:6-10″
As seen in the previous passage God tested Abrahams faith by telling Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac. Abraham proceeded to do just as God told him which showed great faith and obedience on Abrahams behalf both as a child of God and as father. Although God asked him to do something that would not be in Abraham’s best interest Abraham did it anyway. That is what all fathers should do but not all of them do it. Such as previously mentioned with Adam, he did not follow God’s command, and as the father of all, all now suffer because of his disobedience. God new Abraham was a good father that is why he made him the father of many nations. “ As for me, behold, thy covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations. Genesis 17:4″ God would not have made this covenant with him if he was not a good father. Isaac himself was a good father as well. When he was on his death bed he blessed his son Jacob.
“26And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. 27And he came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed: 28Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine: 29Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother’s sons
bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee. Genesis 27:26-29 “
In Bible times it was customary for a father to bless his son before he died. Isaac was a great father in that he continued this tradition although he gave the blessing to the wrong son. It was not his fault that he gave the blessing to the wrong son, he was tricked into giving it to Jacob. Another example of a great father in the Bible is Laban. Laban met Jacob and decided that his daughter was suitable for Jacob and he arranged that Jacob marry his daughter. “ and Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.” Genesis 29:19″ Laban did what every father should do he looked out for his daughters best interest and then made her abide by what he wanted. Many fathers in the Bible showed how to be a father through example one such father is Jerub-Baal. “(For my father fought for you, and adventured his life far, and delivered you out of the hand of Midian: Judges 9:17″ Jerub-Baal led through example, in that he delivered his people out of the had of Midian and fought for the people. He was a father that put others before himself. This showed his sons that they need to put others before themselves as well. There are many other great fathers in the Bible, but these are the ones that stick out.
God’s instructions on how to be a father
God throughout his scriptures gave fathers instructions on how to raise their children in God and how to be good fathers. God tells fathers not to irritate their children, but teach them the teachings of God. “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4″ In Deuteronomy God also told fathers what to do if they had a rebellious son.
“If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: 19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. 21And all
the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. Deuteronomy 21:18-21″
These instructions were given so that fathers would know what to do if there son was not obeying them. God also gave fathers instructions on what to do when his virgin daughter gets married and her husband claims she is not a virgin.
“13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: 15Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: 16And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; 17And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; 19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. 20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
Deuteronomy 22:13-18″
Fathers were also expected, in the Bible, to comfort and charge their children. “As ye know how exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children,… 1 Thessalonians 2:11″ In this passage Paul was talking to the church in Thessalonica and he was making reference as to how fathers were to deal with their own children. Paul was using this as an example to show how he was dealing with the new church in Thessalonica.
Children are gifts
Children are gifts from God and should be treated as such. Not everyone can have children, so when someone has children they should be ecstatic and realize that it truly is a miracle. There is a reason for everyone being born into this world. “Every child brought into this world can make a significant contribution. Farrar, 190 “ In his book Point Man Steve Farrar makes a several comments about children being gifts. This first comment reflects on the fact that there is a reason for everyone being born. He also talks about what joy a child can bring to one’s life, especially that of a father. “ If God blesses you with children, you’ll be taking part in one of the most significant accomplishments a man can enjoy. Farrar 196″ He says it is one of the greatest accomplishments a man can enjoy. He is meaning this in that a father that has a son can look and see himself in that son and realize that it is a spitting image of himself and he can be proud of that. What father would not be proud of his son? A father can also take pride in his daughter because she may share a trait of his such as his eyes, nose or ears. A father truly finds satisfaction in seeing that he along with his wife have created a human being that has his traits. In order to truly be a good father, a father must recognize his children as gifts from the Lord.
Father with their wives
A man that truly knows how to be a father realizes very early in fatherhood that he needs the help his wife. “Listen to the input your wife gives you about each child. Farrar, 215″ Here Farrar makes a point that most men probably do not want to listen to but it is definitely important. Men have this desire to be independent in everything. They do not want to depend on anyone, especially a woman. However a father needs to depend on the mother of his children for help because she knows her kids better than anyone. They are the fruit of her loins how could she not know them inside and out. That is not to say that fathers cannot have this type of relationship with their children, it is possible, but it takes a little longer and it is little harder to obtain than it is for the mother. A father also has to treat his wife with respect. As previously stated fathers father more by example than anything else. Say a child, especially a male child, sees their father treating his wife with disrespect. The child then sees that as the norm and when they themselves get married they will believe that disrespect to one’s spouse is not bad, on the other hand it is expected. Instead fathers should be verbal about the love they feel toward their wife.”Love your wife with verbal praise. Ferrar,310″ In this portion of his book Farrar says this as to make fathers examples to their children. Fathers sometimes do not realize the impact that their example may have on their kids. Another example is a father who looks at pornography. Pornography is wrong on so many levels, but it is especially wrong for a father of a male to participate in. Again and again there are cases of young men getting tied up with pornography. One way for a young man to not get tied up in it is for him to feel that he can talk to his dad about it. However if the son notices his dad is involved in it he does not feel comfortable talking to his dad about because the dad struggles with it too. It also is not good for a father to look at pornography because that means that son might feel it is all right to look at it too. Also if a father is partaking in this sin then there is usually some pornography in the home. The home is the last place where pornography should be and a good father would make sure it was not there. A Father’s example is his most important asset.
Fathers and their daughters
Fathers are especially vital to their daughters while they are growing up. When it comes to girls, fathers are the example that young girls will look for in a boy. Farrar in his book also talks about a father’s influence on his daughter’s sexuality.
“Fathers play a strong role in their daughters’ future sexual adjustment. Women who had a strong stable relationship with a loving father usually find the adjustment to mature femininity much easier, They are usually more secure in their sexual nature and they find it easier to love their husbands.
Farrar,212″
Farrar shares that if the relationship between a father and his daughter is not loving and strong than what he said does not apply. The relationship has to be positive. Farrar also makes it a point to mention that a father is strong influence on his daughters sexual relationships. “Fathers also strongly influence their daughter’s capacity to enjoy sexual relationships in marriage. Farrar, 212″ What he is saying here is that if a father is close to her dad then she will have no trouble getting close to another man when she gets married. On the other hand if a daughter is not close to her dad then she will have a hard time growing close to her husband sexually. That is a big problem in society today. A woman was not close to her father in childhood so now she feels that she needs to fill that void with some other man. When studying girls one can decipher between the girls that had a father while growing up and the girls that did not. The girls that did have father while growing up are not the type that feels they need a boyfriend all of the time. They are more apt to stay single until the guy comes along that they will marry. However girls that did not have a father while growing up can be recognized by being a girl that feels she needs a boyfriend or some other male figure in her life. They try to fill the void of the father with another man. A daughter that enjoys a good relationship with her father will look for someone with the characteristics of her father when she is ready to get married. “ She will look to marry a man with the same positive, tender characteristics she enjoyed with her father. Farrar,213″ Here Farrar reinforces that point. An old saying says this: a daughter always marries her father. This is true in that she does not marry her father but she marries a man the shares the same features as her father. In his book Father: The Figure and The Force. Christopher Anderson says that little girls value their father’s opinion more than anyone else’s. “Clearly, the opinion any girl values most is her father’s. Anderson, 75″ This statement is true on so many levels. One such level is when a girl begins thinking about getting married if her relationship with her father was positive one then she will ask her father what he thinks of her future husband. Finally another level is when a daughter has children she will ask for her father’s opinion on certain aspects of raising her children.