, Research Paper
These days it is hard to find a good boyfriend. ?Guys are like parking spaces. The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.? I have never really had any luck with finding an all around good guy. I guess maybe it was because of the way I went about finding a boyfriend. I tend to look for the good-looking guys, but I never really get to know them before I decide to date them. My past experiences with some of my ex-boyfriends has inspired me to go about a whole different approach while looking for a boyfriend.
Before I spend time, effort and countless phone calls with my friends obsessing over a guy, I have decided to do a little investigating before I declare my underlying crush. This will help me steer away boyfriends from hell. Below are my five steps that I follow while looking for a boyfriend.
Go to the source. This is the first step. Examine the guy as if he is a vegetable. Ask him questions such as where he grew up, what he does on weekend mornings or how he plans to spend his days after he graduates college. Hopefully, he will appreciate your interest. I get a little suspicious if he doesn?t want to reveal himself. It usually means he hiding something or just not interested in me. If the guy is interested he should naturally want to share his likes and dislikes. If by any chance he does spill his life story pay attention to any inconsistencies or exaggerations. For example, if he is bragging about how he took first place in a track meet, ask to see his trophy. If it turns out that he really took third place, chalk it up to a little harmless boosting. However, if you find yourself catching him in outright lies about his part time job or who his friends are, rethink your feelings for him. You will never know when he?s hiding the truth.
My last boyfriend was a compulsive liar. Before, we started dating, he told me that he had been to Europe, and lied about all the things he had supposedly seen their. I later found out from his friends that he had never been their before. I know this doesn?t seem like such a big thing, but it is when someone finds the reason to lie like that. I was never able to trust him after that. I could never tell what he lying about. That relationship ended rather quickly. You can not be in a relationship with someone that you can?t trust.
Examine his past love life. My next step is to examine his past relationships. If your crush has a reputation for having already loved and left half the freshman females in your school, you could be the next one in line of contestants. Ask him questions like why he broke up with his last girlfriend and if he is still friends with his ex. Finding out that his most recent ex-girlfriend is now his sworn enemy shouldn?t necessarily make you run in the other direction. However, it?s not a good sign if he hates each and every one of his past girlfriends. That just shows he is very immature. Unfortunately, it is doubtful that a guy will admit to have cheated on his past girlfriends. This is one piece of information that you will have to find from other sources. If you do find out that he is guilty of this, you might want reconsider this guy. The fact that he is comfortable telling you this does not say a lot about him.
I once dated guy that had been known for cheating on all of his girlfriends. I didn?t give much thought to that fact though. I dated him. He not only cheated on me, but it was with my best friend. Out of that relationship I lost a boyfriend and a best friend. I will never make that mistake again.
Observe him in his natural habitat You can observe your guy by watching him participate in various activities. When you spend time with him one on one, your only seeing the side of him that he wants you to see- the charming flirtatious side. Watch him in a group environment, you?ll witness all the aspects of his personality. This will stop you from dating a creep or a hothead. While doing this make sure that your personalities will not clash.
Infiltrate his guy gang. You never know what nuggets of truth his friends may reveal. Be mellow and avoid suspicion by keeping quiet and letting them talk. Find out what takes up most of their free time. Was their biggest lark the time they stayed up for twenty-four hours straight playing Sega? Or do their wild missions entail lighting mailboxes on fire? People stick with groups that exhibit the same behavior. You never know, you might be obsessing over a guy that spends most of his time in detention.
My first boyfriend fit this description exactly. His friends were the biggest creeps I have ever known. Their favorite past time was destroying public pools and parks. I wish I had known this before I went out with him. He was just as bad as his friends were.
Play fair: Looking through his wallet or backpack is just wrong. Respect his privacy. Don?t do anything that you wouldn’t want done to you. Going through guy?s dresser draws or old notebooks to find girl?s numbers is like a guy reading a girl?s journal. You have to be able to trust him.
Here are some signs that would make a guy a bad boyfriend:
1.If most of his vocabulary is trash talking
2. If he gets annoyed when you hangout with your friends
3. If you catch him lying about everything!
4. He won?t let you be alone with your friends
5. If he makes nasty remarks about the opposite sex
6. If he flirts with every girl he sees
7. If he seems to be interested in just one thing- and its not your sense of humor
8. If he tells you never to call at home
9. If his group of friends is feared throughout the town.
By following these steps and watching for bad signs, I promise you won?t lose. Before I followed these steps, I got myself into many bad relationships. Now, after following these steps I have found a boyfriend that I can trust and have fun with. I have saved a lot of time and heartache. I am a lot happier now that I have learned to steer away boyfriends from hell.