Essay, Research Paper
I do not think women should go back to the workplace while their child is still an infant. It is not healthy for children to be raised by someone other than the parents (1). The parents should at least wait until the child is old enough to be in school.
For some, day care is a necessity. This is usually the case for single moms because they must work in order to provide for their children. This is seen mainly in urban areas. A woman may be the mother of several children, each one from a different man (2). Women cannot provide for three or four children without working. There are reasons for day care, but it should not replace the parents (3). The man and woman want a child, but they do not want to make the necessary sacrifices for that child. One of the toughest things for some adults is to distinguish between things they “need” and things they “want.” An extra car, vacation, or house are not things people need. Society today has become so selfish and self-centered that, for the most part, they cannot see beyond themselves. They cannot see the beautiful child God gave them because of their greed.
Day care is often thought of as glorified baby-sitting. Half of all working women who are new mothers and two-thirds of working women over thirty who have a baby are back at work before their child is one year old (4). Why are women so eager to return to work? If they are able to stay home with their child and still are able to live nicely why would they choose to give their child to a stranger? Some of the most precious moments of a child’s life takes place during the first five years. Women are not going to be able to remember their children’s’ young lives because they were not their. How sad it is that many mothers were not present when their child’s first steps were taken or their first words spoken.
The care children receive from their parents has diminished and with that, the bonding and relationship between the child and the parents has also diminished (5). If a parent is not there for their children, or if a parent is so wrapped up in their own world and does not have enough time for their child, then how is that child supposed to know how to show love to his children? Parents need to show their kids how to love and how they need to grow up. The child is the product of the parents’ example.
Many times women are faced with discrimination while in the work force. Some employers will not give women a raise or a promotion because they take a risk that the women may become pregnant and will have to leave (6). Feminism is very strong in our society today. Women say they have a right to a full-time job, and if an employer does not grant them that right then the employer is in the wrong. At the same time, Does a child not have a similar right to a full-time mother? “After all, they are a person too, and they should have the right to a full-time, biological mother (7).” In the same way a doctor doctor’s people and a teacher teaches people, a mother should mother her children. We must also consider the guilt factor. Many women hold back some effort at their jobs so they will have enough energy to be with their child when they get home. I do not know of any employer that would like to hear that from an employer.
Flextime was offered to women in a bank in Florida. They took flextime away for unknown reasons, but as a result the women were either devoted to their jobs, or devoted to their kids (8).
Children should not be the ones to suffer because the woman is too selfish to give up her job. This world and everything in it will pass, but you will see the people that you affected forever, whether it was negatively or positively. How are you going to explain to your child that they were not important enough for you to give up your job?
Stay-at-home moms are the truly committed. They realize that motherhood is not always picture-perfect. Even though there are sorrows, there are still many more joys (9). It is not always fun to clean up spit-up or to change a dirty diaper, but it is exciting to see the child take his first step and say his first word. The joys far outweigh any sorrows. Our culture views women as the chief nurturer of a family. That is what women do; they raise their young (10). As I said before, the function and obligation of mothers is to mother. Have we forgotten that motherhood is a choice? When a woman has a child they are saying that they choose to love, nurture, and provide for that child (11). The stork does not come and unexpectedly drop a baby on the doorstep. It’s a conscious choice that people make but are not ready for and do not want the responsibility. Sure, children are cute, but they are not placed in this world to entertain all the adults. What may be surprising to know is that not only the children are affected by day care’s, parent’s are also affected. Some experience drug and alcohol abuse, unfaithfulness to their marriage vows, the “age of non-commitment” and of looking our for themselves (12). Our society does not care about anyone else but themselves. Parenting is not somebody else’s job, it is the job for the people who produce the child (13). This may be a real eye-opener for some people, but it really is not that hard to understand. Who can you trust with your child but yourself?
There are countless horror stories about nannies and day care. A common situation occurs when the child starts crying for any reason and the person you trust with yourchild’s life gets annoyed by the baby; she picks him up and starts shaking him. That shaking can result in brain damage, paralysis, or even death. Who can you really trust? The answer is: you cannot trust anyone as much as you can trust yourself. Say you get a brand new Lexus. A complete stranger needs a car and has no one to turn to but you. Would you lend him your new Lexus? Probably not. A lexus is expensive, not to mention insurance. What if they were to wreck it? If you would not let a stranger borrow your car for just a few hours, then why would you let a stranger take care of you baby all day, everyday? Your child is irreplaceable.
Day care can have a negative effect on children. Some children experience alienation- separation syndrome. “This syndrome is the direct cause of a lack of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-control, as well as emotional and behavioral problems (14). The few earliest years of a child’s life determines their personality. If a child is not raised by the parent then the parent is saying they do not care if the child’s personality and identity is learned from a stranger. It is said that children coming our of day care are for the most part more independent than a child who is raised by his mother (15). It introduces them to the outside world where they eventually have to live. Study shows that children coming out of day care have poorer study skills, lower grades, and low self-esteem. They exhibit a clinging syndrome with their parents because they are afraid of when they may separate again (16). It does not seem to be true that children develop more independence when put into day care.
Children who go to day care can become sick physically as well as mentally. It is not healthy for them to be subject to the respiratory ills or the diseases that are found outside the home (17). The baby’s immune system is not as strong as a five year old’s system and cannot handle the type of sicknesses that older children can. By the time the children go to kindergarten their immune systems are strong enough to handle most childhood ailments. Ultimately, it is better for the whole family if the mother raises her child.When you raise the child yourself it is also a lot cheaper. Prices for day care range from $200 to $300 per week and can exceed $500. Corporate centers charge as little as $50 per week, but the estimated cost of quality Federal centers would come to $6,000 per annum (18). The parents may have a better material life if they work, but the child’s life will not be better.