The Forbidden Paw Essay, Research Paper
The Forbidden Paw
Once, a very long time ago there was a crazy family that decided to go on vacation to Manakesh, Morocco. "What a dump! Why would Princess Grace live in a place like this?", the father asked in a curious way.
"Dad, that?s Monaco.", the daughter replied with quite an annoyed tone to her voice. The family continued walking through the market, they saw a contortionist doing his acrobatic thing.
"I can do that, but I don?t want to.", replied the misfit son. (Who was obviously lying out his @#$!)
At the next vendor, the crazy dad saw a monkey?s paw, and he decided that he just had to have it. The vendor of that booth told him that it granted four wishes to whoever owns it.
"Sir, I must strongly advise you. Do not purchase this. Behind every wish lurks grave misfortune. I myself, was once president of Algeria.", warned the aging old man.
"Come on, pal, I don?t want to hear your life story. Paw me!", was all that the father had to say to him.
The man?s wife was not pleased by his senseless and careless purchase. The wife asked where he had gotten that ugly thing.
His reply was straightforward, "Why, at that shop right over?there?" (But all that was left was a gust of wind) The husband gasped and said, "Oh, no, wait, it was over there." As he pointed to the shop. And as the family was leaving, all they could hear was the vendor saying, "You?ll be sorry!"
At home, the paw sat on the coffee table. The son wanted to wish for x-ray specs that really work. But the daughter decided she would rather wish for peace on earth. While they were arguing, the 2-year-old baby grabbed the paw and made her wish. A limo pulled up outside, and the father was very pleased, "Good Baby!" The driver brought her a shiny pacifier, then sped off. "Oh, MAN!", was all that the dad could say.
The son decided he had waited long enough, and so he wished for the family to be rich and famous. The father agreed, "Now you?re talking!" Immediately, they were showered with money. The dad took the family to the fanciest restaurant in town, the Gilded Truffle. The maitre? d showed them to their table?
As the family was enjoying dinner, the wife piped up and said that maybe fame and fortune wasn?t as bad as they say. But then they overheard the people at the next table, "At first they were cute and funny, but now they are just annoying. So if I hear one more thing about them, I swear, I?m going to scream."
After hearing that the family decided to go home. When they got there they were showered with merchandise that had their faces on it! "Come to think of it, the guy that sold me this thing did say the wishes would bring grave misfortune. I thought he was just being colorful.", said the dad after a minute of awe.
The daughter decided she had waited long enough, so as she took the paw she wished for world peace. As she did the third finger on the paw closed. "That was very selfish of you! Now go to your room!", was all that the dad could scream before he turned blue in the face.
Just about that time at the U.N?.
The British ambassador apologized to the Argentine ambassador for the Falkland Islands. The Argentine ambassador said, "Oh, forget it. We kind of knew they were yours." Weapons were destroyed all over the world, and so on and so forth. In space, two aliens, who had been laughing diabolically for quite a long time, landed in the family?s small town.
"People of earth," came the words from the aliens booming mouth, "we come to you in the spirit of hostility and menace!" The mayor tried to reason with them, but he was merely bonked on the head with a puny club. The other alien only held a slingshot. "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!", exclaimed one of the aliens.
So the aliens started controlling the entire earth by simply bonking people on the head, or hitting them with a rock. Some people started whining, "I wish we?d saved an A-bomb or two!" The people of earth all blamed the family for the invasion.
Back in the living room of their house, daddy decided to wish for something completely harmless. "I?ll make a wish that can?t backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, and, I don?t want any zombie turkeys, I don?t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don?t want any other weird surprises. You got it?" The monkey?s paw closed its finger in understanding and a turkey sandwich suddenly appeared. The father took it and started digging in, "Hey! Not bad. Nice, hot mustard. Good bread. The turkey?s a little dry," he started complaining, "Oh, foe, the cursed paw! What demon from the depths of hell created thee?!"
So pappy threw the paw into the trash and their dorky neighbor came about it. He saw one of his friends being chased by an alien, so he wished that the aliens would be gone. A few seconds later the friend was chasing down the alien with a board with a nail in it. The aliens fled.
The first alien, in a disappointing tone said, "It seems the earthlings won."
All the second alien had to reply with was, "Did they? That board with a nail in it may have defeated us. But the humans won?t stop there. They?ll make bigger boards and bigger nails, and soon, they will make a board with a nail so big, it will destroy them all!" Both aliens laughed evilly for quite a while.
The townsfolk carried the neighbor on their shoulders. He went into his house, which transformed into a majestic castle, dwarfing the family?s house.
As they go back inside the husband grumbled, "I wish I had a monkey?s paw."