My Lost Love Essay, Research Paper
My Lost Love
It was ever so dark that evening. It hurt to look at her. It
was like looking at my heart barely beating on the floor. I
couldn’t stand it. Love never hurt me this much. I can’t believe
this happened. Why me? Why her? Why us? In an instant it was
over. I remember the first time we met. It was actually kind of
funny. She was walking her dog. Actually, the dog was walking
her. I was reading a poem and walking along. When all of the
sudden, we collided. The second I looked up into her eyes, I fell
for her harder than an avalanche off of Mount Everest. I think
she felt the same way because we didn’t look away for what seemed
like 5 hours. We talked in the park for about an hour and a half.
She told me her name was Kristeen Thorne and told me that she was
a new student at Orangeville High School; the same school I
attended. We found that we had six out of seven classes together,
which was a very good thing. I asked her to go out with me that
Friday night. We went to the movies first, and then we went to
Vinnie Vicci’s Italian restaurant. The date was perfect and the
person I was with made the date seem like Heaven. We dated non-
exclusively for about one month. On our one month anniversary, I
gave her my letter jacket which I earned playing varsity
football. And while I did that, I asked her to date exclusively.
She answered my question so fast I didn’t realize that she said
yes. We started going out together almost every weekend and
talked on the phone all night and walked with each other to class
everyday, and I gave her a ride to and from school everyday. We
had been going out for about 3 months. The student body voted us
cutest couple of the year. We had to get our pictures taken for
the year book. We went to the spring dance together and were
voted the king and queen of the dance. Then the school year came
to an end. That summer we spent most of the time together. We
went to Kyber Lake for the Fourth of July weekend. My dad let us
borrow his boat for the weekend, and we stayed at a camp ground.
On Friday, when we got there, I took the boat for a test drive to
see if it was still running. It’s was working. I took her to the
little secret cove that only I knew. We stayed in that cove for
about 2 hours just talking and kissing and gazing at each other.
At that time, the only thing I was hoping for was that this
moment never would end. When I looked into her soft blue eyes, I
was completely under her spell. We would stare into each others
eyes and then kiss. Her soft, tender lips caressing mine, and all
I could do was watch the magic. She had this touch. It was like
an angel touching my soul. We went back to camp about 9 :30 p.m..
On Saturday, some friends came and camped with us for the rest of
the weekend. We were on the boat most of the time at the lake
skiing, tanning, and show- boating. The summer flew by faster
than light. When school started, our feelings had increased.
This year we only had 3 classes together, but it didn’t affect
how much we saw each other. The first few months of the school
year went by really quick. Matt, my close friend, was having a
Halloween party at his house. We decided to go as Romeo and
Juliet. Everyone thought our costumes were cute. Matt, the smart
person he is, did not allow any beer at this party, but Kristeen
and I promised each other we would never drink at parties. We all
partied our hearts out, but in the end, Matt had one heck of a
mess to clean up. As the year went on, we kept the romance
alive. It finally got to our one year anniversary on December 17,
1998. For our anniversary I gave her a 1 karat diamond necklace,
and she gave me a 24 karat chain and in the middle of the chain
were both of our names connected with two hearts. Christmas came
around and everyone was in a holiday mood. My family celebrated
Christmas with a family reunion, and Kristeen’s family went to
Sacramento to visit her grandparents. When everyone came back to
Orangevillie all of our friends exchanged gifts. I gave Kristeen
a 1 month old tan cocker spaniel, it had a bow around its neck
and was put in a hand woven basket, for Christmas. She gave me a
fluffy blue Tommy Hilfiger feather down jacket. I spent Christmas
with her. We went to the park. It was snowing. The snow, so
white, made me realize what I had. I was the luckiest man in the
world. I had someone who cared about me. Someone who understood
my problems. Most of all, I had someone who I could snuggle with
in the coldness of the harsh winter. I had true love! New Year’s
Eve came around, and our relationship couldn’t be going any
better than it was. Matt, our party hardy friend, had another one
of his parties. We counted down the New Year, and we sealed 1998
with a long, sweet, tender, romantic, never-ending kiss which
carried over to 1999. After the party, Kristeen and I stayed to
help Matt clean up his house. We felt sorry for his unfortunate
break up with Lauren. After we cleaned house, Kristeen and I
couldn’t help but kiss each other. You know that feeling you get
when your with the one you love and you just started a new year,
and how you can’t keep your hands off of each other. It’s that
feeling you get when you know that they will be there for you for
the rest of your life. Well that wasn’t it. I was just happy that
the cleaning was over, and we could go home. When we got to my
car, I looked at her and asked her, ” Do you promise me you’ll
never leave me?” She so softly answered with a twinkle in her
eye and a smile on her face, ” Yes! I will never leave you. I
will be with you for the rest of your life. That is a promise!”
We started home about 2:30 A.M. in the morning. We were driving
on Highway 45 when we came across an intersection. Our light was
green so I proceeded. Out of no where, a car with its high beams
on hit the passenger side of my car. I was sent to the hospital
unconscious. I woke up the next morning. I called for the nurse.
“Where is Kristeen?” I asked so impatiently. The nurse looked at
me with saddened eyes. I could tell what the answer was just by
the look in her eyes. ” I’m sorry. Your friend never made it.
She was dead at the scene.” She said with a soft voice. I later
found out that the car was driven by a drunk from the party that
we had just left. I couldn’t help but cry as remembered the
promise we made right before we left. Then all the other memories
started coming back. I couldn’t stop them. They just kept coming
one after the other. The more I remembered the faster the tears
ran out. I got up and started pacing around in my room. The more
I thought of her the angrier I became. I took my aggression out
by punching the walls. The nurses came in trying to calm me.
Nothing was going to calm me. I couldn’t stand it. I finally quit
punching the wall and fell to the floor. All I could do was sit
there and cry as I remembered every single day of our
relationship. It’s wasn’t fair. It should have been me. I should
have died, not her. Suicide did cross my mind that night in the
hospital. It has been a month since that day, and everytime I
look at her picture it hurts me so much I could die. Everyday I
think about that night, and what I could have done to prevent her
death. One thing is for sure, love has never hurt me this much
before. That next day I went to her grave. “Umm….. I wrote you
this poem. It’s about you and what I thought you were thinking
when I was at the hospital. ” I said as the tears ran down my
face. ” I can’t believe this happened. You weren’t ready to go. I
wasn’t ready for you to…….” I had to stop because I started
to choke up. ” I wasn’t ready for you to go. No one was. Remember
our promise? Well I won’t let you break it. You will always be
with me. Right here.” I said as I hit my chest. ” I hope you can
read this from your spot in Heaven.” I said with my tear filled
eyes as I was setting the poem on her grave. This is what the
poem said, “Death Of An Innocent I went to a party Dominiq, I
remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, so I drank
soda instead. I really felt proud inside, the way you said I
would. I didn’t drink and drive, even though the others said I
should. I know I did the right thing, I know you were always
right. Now the party is finally ending, as everyone is driving
out of sight. As I got into the car, I knew I’d get home in one
piece. Because of the way you loved me, so caring and sweet. We
started to drive away, but as you pulled out into the road, the
other car didn’t see us and hit me like a load. As I lay there on
the pavement, I hear the policeman say, the other guy is drunk,
and now I’m the one who will pay. I’m lying here dying, I hope
you get there soon. How could this happen to me? My life just
burst like a balloon. There is blood all around me, and most of
it is mine. I hear the medic say, I’m running out of time. I just
wanted to tell you, I swear I didn’t drink. It was the others.
The others didn’t think. He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is he drank and I will die. Why do people
drink? It can ruin your whole life. I’m feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife. The guy who hit me is walking, and I
don’t think it’s fair. I’m lying here dying and all he can do is
stare. Tell my sister not to cry. Tell Dad to be brave. And when
I go to heaven, put “Daddy’s Girl” on my grave. Someone should
have told him, not to drink and drive. If only they had told him,
I would still be alive. My breath is getting shorter. I’m
becoming very scared. Please don’t cry for me. When I needed you,
you were always there. I have one last question, before I say
good bye. I didn’t drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?”
” I know I have to get on with my life, but I will always love
and cherish you. Our love will always be like the stars eternal
shine.” I said as I wiped the tears from my face. ” One more
thing before I go, I love you! Remember that!” I looked at her
grave imagining her face. I stood there for a couple of minutes
not saying a word. Then I turned and began to walk to my car.
When I got into the car, I sat there, remembering, one at a time,
all the things we did together. The final thing I saw was the
twinkle in her eye and the smile on her face when she promised me
that she would never leave me. Then I drove home knowing, I would
never get to kiss her sweet, gentle lips good night ever again.