Interpersonal Communications Essay, Research Paper
Question #1 is the perfect question to answer, in fact, an opertune matter happened between my son, my wife and I, that exhibited all the differences between verbal and nonverbal communication between two very important people in my life. What is the difference between verbal and nonverbal communication? To understand the definition between the two we must first understand the definition of the word “communication.” Websters defines the word “commuication” as, “the transmission or exchange of ideas, information, etc., as by speech, writing or that which is communicated: a message.” However, in the broadest sense, communication is the process of acting upon information. Someone does or says something, and others think or do something in response to the action or the words as they are understood. Which will be described in the matter mentioned.
The question ask to my wife and I by our 22 year old son was “what do you’ll think about my girl friend?” Not having enough information to answer his question I asked, “Do you mean how pretty she is?” He answered, No, I mean what do you’ll think about me living with my girlfriend again? My wife immedately attempted to answer his question which meant she selected what she wanted to hear and focused on the verbal message given by our son at that time. Her answer, “Son we have nothing against your girlfriend in general or with you living with her if that is what you want. But, remember you’ve tried living with her, and you both have had an assortment of conflicts with one another. So, you need to decide if you want to live this way.” Her question to him was, do you love her? His aggesivley answered, love is not the point, you don’t have to love a person to live with them. To analyze the conversation so far meant to me our son was verbally saying one thing but really meaning another. By his aggresive tone of voice when he answered my wife’s question was his nonverbal way of saying that there is a problem with love or caring between he and his girlfriend. To gather more information to try and find out the real message I stated in my wife’s defense, that a person does need to care somewhat about another person when in a intimate relationship such as you and your girlfriend. Although love may not be the point, your feelings for her play a big part in answering your question. Than I asked, what are you’re feeling for her and do you like being with her? His answer, while holding his hands against his head as if he had an headace, I care for her a lot and I like being with her. I asked, what are the feelings you dislike about her? His answer, what I don’t like are the arguments we have and me not being able to do what I want when I want. Also, I can’t seem to trust her. She wants me to have my things and she have hers. But I feel if I stop seeing her, I would feel guilty because she helped me when I needed help.
We can define verbal communication as the transmission of information as by speech or writing, and nonverbal communication as behavior other than written or spoken language, that creates a meaning for someone. Most verbal cummuicating result in words not always delivering the message due to barriers. For example, our sons question was “what do you’ll think about my girlfriend?”, this question could have several answers, therefore it needed confirming before being answered. After confirming the question we now know how to respond. By my wife and I responding with more questions such as, do you love her and what are your feelings for her, brought out the nonverbal portion of the message being communicated, our sons tone of voice changed to be aggressive, he held his hands on his head when he spoke of his feelings. In conclusion the messages our son was really communicating were, he disliked the conflicts between he and his girlfriend. He only wanted to live with his girlfriend because he felt he owed her for helping him, and he also wanted to know how he could stop seeing here without feeling guilt. Channels used to convey our sons messages were several, the two most important channels user were the visual and auditory channels.
Since one of the messages cummunicated from our son was disliking conflict, question #3 comes into play.