Perspectives On Parental Alienation, Child Custody And Dispute Resolution Systems Essay, Research Paper
Perspectives on Parental Alienation, Child Custody and Dispute Resolution Systems
Contested child custody provides many challenges for alternate dispute resolution. With no-fault divorce, and a standard for determining custody in light of the child’s best interest, judges are besieged with a backlog of disputed custody cases without clear and concrete guidelines to follow in deciding whether to favor the mother or the father. Many experts in family law – both from the legal and mental health arenas – have observed an increase in deceptive and manipulative tactics used by divorcing couples. This paper looks at Parental Alienation Syndrome, which is a complex manifestation of mental and emotional abuse resulting from conflicted parents fighting for custody. Recommendation are given for a model that could be employed by family law mediators that could decrease the number of custody cases that go to litigation, while ensuring that families suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome receive prompt and effective intervention.
Mediation in Child Custody Disputes – Historical Perspectives
The surge in divorce rates during the past two decades along with major judicial reforms since the 1970’s has led to several significant changes in the ways that courts handle family law cases. Divorce and custody laws have been widely revised by states, and alternatives to litigation have emerged and gained prominence. Mediation has become a popular option, and in some states, mediation is mandatory for divorcing couples. Judicial systems in California, Minnesota and Wisconsin were early experimenters with the concept of conciliation courts, where parents were encouraged to work out divorce and custody conflicts. States that have introduced mandatory mediation in cases of contested custody include Delaware, California, Maine and Florida. (Herman, 1990)
There has been research that supports mediation as a positive intervention in custody disputes. Studies of custody cases in several large cities report that over half (between 50 and 90 percent) of the cases are settled through mediation. (Atkinson, 1996) A large empirical evaluation of mediation services in three court-based programs, showed generally high levels of user satisfaction according to the researchers. (Pearson & Thoennes, 1986) Both the Denver Mediation Project of the early 1980’s and a study conducted in Toronto found mediation to be successful in keeping divorcing families out of court. The Toronto study compared couples that mediated custody with those that litigated without mediation; only 10 percent of mediated couples returned to the courtroom after two years with problems related to custody or visitation, while 26 percent of the non-mediated couples were back in court within two years. (Herman, 1990)
Herman (1990) demonstrates that there are significant challenges to the suitability of mediation in some custody disputes. He asserts that the assumption that mediation will deter the bitterness, disappointment, and anger of divorcing couples and lead them toward cooperation, understanding, and tolerance has not been documented. “Even a highly skilled mediator cannot compensate for the sharp differences in sophistication and power that often exist between divorcing spouses.” (Herman, 1990, p. 56) In a small study of forty divorcing couples conducted at the University of Virginia, half the couples opted for mediation, while the other half litigated without mediation. The mothers in the mediation group reported more psychological distress than did the litigating mothers. (Herman, 1990)
The issue of mandatory mediation of child custody cases has received criticism. Carol Bruch, professor of Family Law at the University of California at Davis, publicly testified before the New York state legislature about her concerns that children are not best represented in mediation and women are often at a distinct disadvantage. She observes that there is no research evidence to support a claim that children whose parents mediate custody settlements do better than children of litigating parents. Furthermore, she points to her own experience with family law attorneys and mediators to support her assertion that the husband and his views are accorded more respect than the wife and her views. (Herman, 1990)
These conflicting viewpoints regarding the pros and cons of mediation in child custody disputes indicate a need for additional research. “There is no hard evidence that mediation is the preferred solution to any given custody dispute, that a party’s position will be heard any more objectively or accurately than it might be in court, or that children whose parents mediate a custody dispute do any better in the long run than children whose parents litigate.” (Herman, 1990, p. 60)
Parental Alienation Syndrome and Custody Disputes
The foregoing section reviewed the historical context of mediation in child custody disputes and some of the research findings, both pro and con, relative to the suitability of mediation in custody cases. There are concerns that mediation may not work to the advantage of everyone concerned in all cases of contested custody. “In most divorce cases where there is animosity and conflict between the parents, there is some degree of brainwashing and programming {of children.}” (Clawar & Rivlin, 1991). One of the situations that presents significant challenges for mediators, as well as court officials, is the phenomenon referred to as Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Parental Alienation Syndrome refers to a disturbance where children are preoccupied with viewing one parent as all “good” and the other parent as all “bad”. The “bad” parent is hated and verbally vilified, while the “good” parent is loved and idealized (Ricketson, 1991). Another hallmark of PAS is the false charging of child abuse, which comes about when one parent is intent upon driving away the other parent (Carper, 1995). Cases where PAS is suspected require a diagnosis from a mental health expert prior to being referred for mediation.
Forensic psychologist, Dr. Richard Gardner, coined the term Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) in the mid 1980’s to refer to a situation where one parent who has previously had a very close and loving relationship with the child becomes the object of hate and degradation by the child, due to conscious or unconscious brainwashing by the other parent. Gardner (1992) claims that between 80 and 90 percent of all custody cases exhibit some form of PAS from mild to moderate to severe symptoms. Mediators and court officials may have difficulty recognizing PAS and may assume the “hated” parent is indeed a poor parent and merits the child’s rejection.
Manifestations of the Parental Alienation Syndrome in children consist of eight elements described by Gardner (1992)in Table 1.
Table 1 Common Characteristics of Children with Parental Alienation Syndrome
PAS TraitDescription of Behavior
A campaign of denigrationThe child is obsessed with “hatred” of a parent. This denigration by the child often has the quality of a litany
Weak, frivolous, or absurd rationalizations for the deprecationThe child provides irrational and often ludicrous justifications for not wanting to be near the hated parent
Lack of ambivalenceAll human relationships, including parent-child relationships, are ambivalent. In PAS. the children have no mixed feelings. The hated parent is all bad and the loved parent is all good.
The “independent thinker” phenomenonMany children proudly state that their decision to reject the other parent is completely their own; they deny any contribution by the custodial parent.
Reflexive support of the loved parent in parental conflictCommonly the children will accept as 100 percent valid the allegations of the loved parent against the hated one, even after seeing evidence that the loved parent was lying.
Absence of guiltThe child shows total disregard for the hated parent’s feelings.
The presence of borrowed scenariosThere is a rehearsed quality to the scenarios and they often use language or phrases that are not commonly used by the child.
Spread of the animosity to the extended family of the hated parentThe child rejects the network of relatives that previously provided numerous and important psychological gratifications.
In PAS the parents may be referred to as the “alienating parent” and the “target parent” (Walsh & Bone 1997). Typically the alienating parent (AP) has an agenda for turning the child against the other parent. The motive may include revenge, guilt, fear of loss of the child, or loss of the role of primary parent, or the desire to have control or ownership over the child. The AP may be jealous of the other parent, or desire to obtain leverage in the divorce settlement relative to property distribution, child support, or alimony. It may be that the AP suffers from a past history of abandonment, alienation, physical or sexual abuse, or even loss of identity (Walsh & Bone, 1997). These motives lead the AP to program the child to deny the existence of or love for the target parent.
The target parent (TP) becomes the victim of false allegations and may feel frustrated and bewildered over the child’s changes in behavior. While the allegations of the TP’s wrongdoing are grossly distorted perhaps to the point of being obviously fabricated, nevertheless the child and the alienating parent appear to deeply believe these fictitious allegations (Walsh & Bone, 1997). In their study of sixteen PAS cases, Dunne and Hedrick (1994) found that PAS does not necessarily signify dysfunction in either the target parent (TP) or in the relationship between the child and TP. Instead they argue that PAS appears to be attributable to the pathology of the AP and the unhealthy relationship between the AP and the child. All of the AP’s in their study experienced intense feelings of dysphoria, which were blamed on the former spouse; in addition, the AP’s predominantly experienced intense narcissistic injuries. (Dunne & Hedrick, 1994) . Clawar and Rivlin (1991) determined that brainwashing and programming are intensified the more the TP succeeds in life after the separation (financial success, new and happy relationships, etc.)
The child is the most seriously affected victim of PAS. The brainwashing campaign creates confusion in the child as a result of internalizing distorted beliefs and perceptions. In an extensive longitudinal study, 40 percent of the children developed self-hatred and guilt because they were used as any ally in the war against the TP. In the same study, 90 percent of the children were cut off to some extent from extended families of the TP. (Clawar & Rivlin, 1991) Dr. Phyllis Chessler has studied the effects of forced separation of children from one of their parents. She claims that where the forced separation is from the mother who reared the child, this constitutes a traumatic and lasting form of child abuse. “Any child who rejects his {or her} mother is probably doomed to suffer guilt forever. The need to deny such guilt may lead to the suppression of all authentic feelings, especially those of love, anger, grief, self-confidence, and hope.” (Chessler, 1986, p. 186)
Issues in Mediator Qualifications for PAS cases
When these types of cases are referred to mandatory court mediation, the scenarios could be quite difficult for a mediator to sort out. The child and alienating parent will appear to have a very close and loving bond, while the other parent (unknowingly) is accused of a long list of horrifying behavior, which often includes quite credible accusations of child abuse/sexual abuse (Gardner, 1982). There are varying degrees of severity of PAS and in severe cases the PAS dynamic may be so toxic that a relationship with both parents may not be possible, or in the child’s best interest (Dunne & Hedrick, 1994).
There are several issues of mediator competence that need to be examined. First the question of detection of PAS presents itself as a dilemma for mediators who are not trained in mental health diagnostic procedures. Secondly, once PAS is suspected, detected, or diagnosed, should mediation proceed, and if so, under what circumstances? The education, training and skills of the mediator obviously come into play when dealing with the highly deceptive and manipulative tactics of parents who have brainwashed their children. Mediators need training to understand and recognize the underlying motives for a parent’s refusal to promote accessibility between the child and the other parent. Some motives could be an avenging spouse who wants to punish or get even with the spouse who left him or her; the “narcissist” who regards custody as a way to prove his or her self-worth to the world after a failed marriage; or a lonely parent who seeks to control the children for fear of losing them, or from a need for their own emotional support from the children (Warshack, 1992).
When divorcing couples voluntarily participate in mediation, there may be an assumption of their willingness to cooperate on a settlement for everyone’s best interests. It may be that PAS families do not come to mediation voluntarily, but rather are part of a court ordered or mandatory mediation process. Unfortunately if one of the parents is unreasonable or uncooperative, the mediation effort can easily be sabotaged (Turkat, 1994).
There is a need for training to teach mediators how to detect and deal with PAS families; again there is no research to date indicating that family mediators are trained in PAS. A thorough literature review for this research paper showed no such training procedures reported at the time of this writing, although there are several researchers that call for training to help all family interveners deal effectively with brainwashing, programming and alienation tactics by separated parents (Cartwright, 1993; Clawar & Rivlin, 1991; Dunne & Hedrick, Gardner, 1992; Hysjulien et al., 1994, Lund, 1995; Turkat, 1994; Walsh & Bone, 1997). In their 1994 review of methods for child custody evaluation used in litigation and alternate dispute resolution Hysjulien, Wood and Benjamin concluded that models for training competent evaluators or for educating attorneys and the judiciary about custody evaluation issues are lacking (p.485).
Several states, including Florida, require mandatory mediation prior to a trial for divorcing couples with children. The Florida legislature has established criteria for mediator qualifications, with a special set of training and education requirements for certification as Family Mediator. The educational standards include masters level or higher degree in mental health or behavioral science; or they may be an attorney or CPA with four years experience in mental health, behavioral or social sciences. The training requirements stipulate a 40-hour training program plus observation of two family mediations and supervised practice of two family mediations. (For more detail, see Florida rules for certified and court-appointed mediators. Sec. 44.1011, Fla. Stat.) While it is possible that Parental Alienation Syndrome may be mentioned during the forty hour training program, it is unlikely that significant depth is given to PAS training issues. The brochure describing course content for the 1997 Family Mediation Certification Training Program focuses primarily on basic mechanical and legal content geared to teach the skill of mediation. (Florida Atlantic University brochure, 1997)
Ethical Issues for Mediators Dealing with PAS
It is well documented in the literature on mediation that many perceive a successful mediation as one that produces an agreement (Umbreit, 1995). Couple this success indicator with a state’s legal preference for “joint custody”, and a mediator who is not aware of PAS could inflict disastrous consequences on families by attempting an agreement for joint custody. Joint or shared custody normally requires a very high degree of parental cooperation. When an inflexible parent encourages the child to have nothing to do with the other parent, s/he may not be capable of such cooperation. A well-meaning, but unaware or untrained mediator who is trying to encourage substantial contact may be creating “endless possibilities for antagonism between the parents, with predictably detrimental effects on the child’s well being.” (Mnookin & Kornhouser, 1979). Mediators and other professionals who work with the divorcing population need to be aware of the symptoms of PAS and the difficulties that these cases present. A failure to properly identify and intervene in the early stages of PAS cases may result in the AP being given professional support; thus reinforcing the child’s need to maintain or expand complaints about the TP (Dunne & Hedrick 1994). Gardner (1992) suggests that professionals need to understand the therapeutic interventions necessary to treat and alleviate symptoms of PAS before any custody or visitation arrangement can succeed.
Another major ethical dilemma for a “neutral” mediator is how to deal with the dishonesty, deception and unwillingness to cooperate of the alienating parent. It would be na?ve for the mediator to think that s/he could persuade the alienating parent (AP) to be reasonable and cooperative; in fact, falling into the trap set by the AP could again be terribly harmful for the target parent and the child. Any agreement produced without mental health intervention for the family may only serve to prolong the PAS. In their study of over 700 cases of children who were brainwashed and/or programmed by one parent to hate the other parent, Clawar & Rivlin (1991) conclude that most parents who brainwashed or programmed their children extensively were “poor candidates for re-education and counseling. They were largely ‘other-blamers’ and took no responsibility for their damaging influence on their child.” (p.153)