Perspectives Of Love Essay, Research Paper
I believe men and women have trouble understanding love because of their different perspectives. I believe this because soon I ll be finding a partner (as will many others my age) to settle down with. I d like an understanding of the males perspective as well as my own.
There are many difference between men and women from bodies to how they are treated in society. The psychological differences between man and women are less obvious. They can be difficult to describe. Yet these differences can influence how we form and maintain relationships. Recognizing, understanding, discussing as well as acting skillfully in light of the differences between men and women can be difficult. The failure to recognize and appreciate these differences can become a life long source of disappointment, frustration, tension and eventually the downfall in a relationship. Not only can these differences destroy a promising relationship, but also most people will grudgingly accept or learn to live with the consequences. Eventually they find some compromise or way to cope. Few people ever work past these difficulties. People tend to accept what they don t understand when they feel powerless to change it (Good, 171).
Men expect women to think, communicate, and react the way they do. Women expect men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women do. When people begin to realize that in fact men and women are different, it s easier to understand love and the opposite sex.
One of the biggest differences between women and men is how they cope with stress. Men tend to become increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become increasingly overwhelming and emotionally involved. A man feels better by solving problems while a woman feel better by talking about problems. For a man to feel better he tends to pull away and silently think about what s bothering him. For a woman, she feels the need to talk about what s bothering her (Gray, 29).
Another thing, women and men have different emotional needs. So instinctively they don t know how to support each other. As a result each tends to give to the relationship what each needs and desires. Usually men need encouragement, approval, acceptance, appreciation, trust, and admiration. On the other hand, women need caring, reassurance, validation, understanding, respect, and devotion (Gray, 133).
With this said you could understand the difference had by men and women. Without this, you will begin to think you love a difficult mate. For example, when men misuse or mishandle their angry feelings, they are considered difficult men that cause you emotional pain. Relationships between men and women are not impossible or necessarily difficult. Problems simply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel or act the way we do. It s not that men and women live in completely different realities. Rather, our lack of knowledge and mutual experience gives rise to our difficulties. Problems simply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel or act the way we do. It s not that men and women live in completely different realities. Rather, our lack of knowledge and mutual experience gives rise to our difficulties (Good, 53).
My personal opinion is that once an understanding between the couple is established, then a relationship can and will work. Being in a relationship myself, I understand that women and men have differences. I also realize there are misunderstandings. Knowing about different perspectives, I m able to try the right way at making a relationship work. Being surrounded by relationships from parents to friends, I wish that everyone would know and understand the different perspectives. In conclusion, men and women have different perspectives of love resulting in the difficulty of understanding love. From this I have learned a lot about the psychological aspect of love. It s quite different than what men and women presume love to be. Then again what people think about love is quite nice to listen to.