Love-Hate Comparison Essay, Research Paper
THEY LOVE ME, THEY LOVE ME NOT
Growing up, I had a best friend named Susie. We shared everything. She knew
my every thought, dream and fear. I always saved her a seat on the bus. When
we became teenagers we double dated. We were each other’s counselor,
confidant, and sometimes even a shoulder to cry on. I loved her very much
and could not imagine not being her friend, until she betrayed me. I
discovered that she had been seeing my boyfriend behind my back. After
learning of her deceit I hated her so much that just the sight of her
literally turned my stomach. Often it is difficult to distinguish if the
actions of others originate from love or hate. There are many variables in
deciding whether someone acted out of love or hate. It is important to learn
to distinguish between love and hate.
As children, our parents punish us for doing wrong, not because they hate us,
but rather that they love us and want us to grow up to be well mannered,
likeable people. At the time they were disciplining us, we could not
understand how they could use a phrase such as “This hurts me more than it
does you.” When we reach adulthood it is much easier to see how it could
hurt them to have to be strict. God loved Adam and Eve because they were his
children, even though they had sinned by eating the fruit from the tree of
knowledge of good and evil. He hated that they had not listened to his
instructions. As much as he loved them, he had to punish them for
disobedience in order to teach them that he had their best interests in mind.
Our parents made decisions for us because they love us. Decisions based on
love are for the benefit of the loved one, while decisions based on hate are
for the one who hates benefit or selfish desire. Decisions driven by hate
are often made to cause another person to suffer or to exact revenge. Loving
decisions are to relieve the pain or the hurt being suffered by someone other
than oneself.
While God’s love is pure and unwavering, human love can be healthy or
unhealthy. True love is generally healthy, while true hate is very
unhealthy. A love-hate relationship flip-flops between the two emotions. In
a love-hate relationship the people involved can go from seemingly hating the
other person to loving them immensely, almost immediately. Some people might
argue that this is an unhealthy style of relationship; however, as long as
the hate is only a fleeting feeling, the love-hate relationship can be a
healthy one. People in this type of relationship are usually more open about
their dislikes, being able to vent their disdain for a particular action or
statement by the other person. By the same token, they quickly remember
their love for their significant other. They are able to express their love
as freely as they express their hate. This free expression of emotions
prevents feelings from being suppressed and ultimately makes for a very open
and honest relationship. Real hatred; however, is extremely unhealthy. One
must have the capacity to forgive or life most certainly would be miserable.
By having the ability to forgive, one is able to survive without being
overcome by hate. While one would be very upset if someone ran over a family
pet, he/she should be able to forgive the person who committed the act. In
some cases, forgiveness is difficult. For instance, a murder victim’s family
might find it terribly hard to forgive the murderer of their loved one.
Hate of this nature is perfectly normal, but for true healing to be achieved,
forgiveness is mandatory.
Throughout history people have been murdered for their strong beliefs in
their gods and religions. Religious people often state that they love
everyone; however, there are countless stories of massacres and wars
originating from outspokenness about opposing religious views. This
prejudice has been affecting mankind since the beginning of time. Religious
prejudice is only one of many prejudices. Prejudices are disguised as love
for one’s own kind but are really a form of hatred for anyone who is
different than them. The most common prejudices are racial, religious,
gender, and sexual orientation prejudice. While racial prejudice seems to be
on the decline in recent years, the problem of prejudice over sexual
orientation seems to be increasing. In the past few years there have been
many incidents where people were murdered because they were, or were believed
to be, homosexual. These senseless murders and acts of prejudice have even
affected the armed forces. Prejudice should be love for one’s own kind,
mankind.
When I first picked my topic I thought there would be many more differences
between love and hate. After further thought I realized that they much more
similar than they at first appear to be. It has made me contemplate the
fact that that there is a very precarious balance between love and hate.
Love is often perceived as hate and hate perceived as love. The most
significant difference that I found between the two was their definitions.
According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, love is an extreme affection for and
hate is an extreme aversion to. These emotions are exact opposites-or are
they?