’s Society Essay, Research Paper
Did you ever wonder how if felt to be in love? What about being in a relationship? Many teenagers today have already experienced the hardship of being in relationship with someone and being in love. Some have not been in love but most have beenin a relationship. Instead of breaking my head trying to figure out what it is that teenagers in todays society face up to in relationships, I decided to do a little investigating. I decided to ask some of my friends to answer my questions. I sat each person alone and asked them my simple questions. Most of the answers were similar for the females and most of the males answers were the same also. I questioned eight girls and eight boys. Out of eight boys only three were in relationships. The other five were not in relationships at the time. On the other hand, half of the girls I questioned were in relationships that were serious.
Just by looking at that, I realized that many teenage females today areeither in a serious relationship or is looking to be in one. Many teenage males are just looking for someone to have fun with with no strings attatched. In today’s society that’s hard because once you become friends with someone, you get to know eachother very well and you know eachothers likes and dislikes. Most of the time if the two “friends” end up getting together and it doesn’t work out, it ruins the friendship. In many cases one of the friends likes the other a little more than the other. That’s where the problem starts. In all relationships, both ends of the relationship should put in 100%. But in reality what really happens is someone is putting 75% and the other is putting 25%. This causes the tension in the relationship, which brings me to my next point.
I asked those in the relationships if their partner gets along with his/her friends and if they argue. Mostly everyone answered yes to the first part and yes to the secone part. Many of the females said that their boyfriends just didn’t want them around “bad people”. Who are these “bad people”? They are the boyfriends worst enemies, other boys. Young men today are so worried about their looks and pride that many worry about whether or not their lady will cheat on them, so to keep that from happening they keep them from “bad people”. On the contrary, females don’t do that. Most of the time the female has her doubts but is afraid to mention them. They (the females) don’t want their boyfriends to think that they don’t trust them. They are also afraid that their boyfriend will take the concern into offense and leave the female alone and hurt. This problem is called lack of communication. We’re teenagers, not adults. We don’t even know how to address people the right way. How do you expect little boys to be young men.
My next question was about where a usual date would be for the couple. Listen to this. Most of the couples’ answers were the same. The movies, sportsworld, lunch, dinner, simple stuff. Hardly any said anything like an amusement park, central park, opera, play etc. What role does this play in the teenage relationship? Look at the places they go to and look at the places they don’t go to. They are very dissimilar. Teenage lives consist of every day things and not unordinary things. Have you ever seen a teenager call their mom and ask to go to an opera? They are not interested in fancy place! Why?! Because they can not afford it or it’s inconveniant for them. Teenagers range from 13 to 19. That’s seven years of adolescence. It’s seven years of carefree, inexpensive fun. Money plays an important role also. If your boyfriend/ girlfriend is unemployed it makes it harder to go out and do new exciting things.
How about the seriousnes of the relationship? When you think of teenagers and love you say it doesn’t happen. But on the contrary it usually does happen. Most men and women’s first loves were in their teenage years. Most of my friends are in love but don’t want others to know. They feel rather emabarassed. It’s like they are proud but ashamed. Teenage men are ashamed because their friends who are not in love might joke around and make him feel uncomfortable. This causes them to deny their commitment to their girlfriend. The female though, is very different. She has no problem proclaiming her love for him. She feels proud and “grown” now that she is in love. No one can tell her what to do about “her” life. Where does the seriousness come in? Right here!! Eventually the friends start to realize that they are just making it hard on their friends to experiment love and a relationship and back off. And her comes the hard part. The couple is now able to spend time alone and seek eachothers needs and comfort. Many a times, men don’t need comfort because pride gets in the way, but there’ll be some occasions when the female seems to act just like the male. The couple begins to spend time together and share good and bad times and eventually everyone accepts their relationship. This leads the couple to more time spent with friends and more expectancies. They begin to want to be with their friends and they grow apart. Then…BOOM! The couple starts to argue over little things and things get hectic.
What does he/she look for in a person? WOW! Here we go. Most of the teenage boys said they look for looks, personality, honesty, understanding, sense of humor and religious background. Can you believe that? When you (the females) think of what the boys want, you picture all types of shovinistic things and maybe a good thing here or there. But when I asked the females, the answers I got were incredibly surprising! When I asked female “A”, she said “What I have but a little more affectionate.” Female “B” said, “Tall, muscular, lght brown hair, green-blue eyes, 1 tattoo on his wrist, he can dress, good personality, money, do what I say, he got to play football, he has to play NFL football automatically from his 3rd year.” Very specific!! How about female “C”? She said, “alot in common with me, not jealous, trusting, cook and clean, good job, career orientated, and gives me my freedom.” Not too bad. Listen to female “D”. “Straight hair, nicely medium built, tall 6′4″, great smile, green eyes, slightly tan skin, Italian, caring, honest, sincere, understanding, able to compromise, openminded, trustworthy, romantic, adventurous, fun, unpredictable.” That was exxagerated!! But it’s what she wants. Female “E” explained how she wants “a man taller than me, colored eyes, wavy hair, have to have a future, independent, affectionate, know what I want without saying.” But what female “F” said was striking. She said ” an amazing man in every way and just makes my heart jump when I see him.” Both females “G” and “H” said the same things. They want him to be “tall, not jealous, open-minded, respectful, and not hairy.” WELL!!!! Females expect alot from men. They are so specific and critical about what they want. It almost seems impossible to find what they want, right? NOPE!!! It’s possible. Anything is possible.
In conclusion I have analyzed everything that my friends have said. They all basically want the best things for themselves. They all respect eachother. Some have never been in love others have. In any given relationship, the male is always dominant. He always wants to have the control and she’ll always be there. The female may sometimes be dominant, but most of the time it’s the male. I believe that in most teenage relationships today, the relationship gets harder and harder by the minute. Back then teenage relationships were easier and they had less to worry about. It was as if they only had to worry about stuff like what to wear and what to eat, not what time is curfew, or what disease they have to be carefull about catching. Life is getting harder and harder in today’s society, and as the world gets tougher so do the people, which makes relationships harder. People don’t realize how easy it is to ruin a friendship by turning it into a relationship. Once the relationship has begun there’s no turning back. If there’s any advice I could give to any teenager today, it’s this. Take life as it comes. Don’t let life bring you down. When you fall in love you will fall hard. But remember the harder you fall the more you learn.