Alien Story Essay, Research Paper The Most Messed Up Story You Will Ever Read I am going to start my story in the past. This is mainly because this is where it
Alien Story Essay, Research Paper
The Most Messed Up Story You Will Ever Read
I am going to start my story in the past. This is mainly because this is where it
starts. It was not planned. If I had to do over, I would have not followed the path that I
had chosen. You see this path led to me being married to my loving, caring,
thoughtful husband. There is nothing in this universe more disgusting.
It all started about five years ago. I had just awoken from my slumber. It was not a
welcomed awakening. In fact, I was having quite a good dream about Rod Hugebone,
the college football team’s star quarterback. This guy was the man of my dreams,
literally. Oh the things I would fantasize him doing with me and a bottle of whip
cream…but that is another story for another time. You see I had just been woken up
by the evil, all-consuming sound of my alarm clock. Damn, those things are devilish.
Well, any ways, I slowly rolled out of bed, and put my feet onto the soft carpet. It is a
new carpet that the college had just installed in all the rooms in my building. It is
much more soft, and a lot better color blue, than the old carpet. I made my way to the
bathroom, remembering to put my robe on.
“Don’t want to go out walking around the hallways naked,” I thought.
I made my way into the bathroom, which is only across the hall from me, when it
“I forgot my shower box thingy!”
I went back to my room, unlocked the door, and got the little plastic carrying box
that holds all of my showering needs. I made my way back to the bathroom and
proceeded to take a much-needed shower.
The soft water trickled down my back as I used my poof ball to massage the body
lotion upon my skin. I wouldn’t say that I was beautiful, but the term ugly has never
been uttered around me. The smooth sensation of the water sends chills up and down
After the shower, I make my way back to my room and put on some clothes. A
nice pair of khaki pants, and a green sweater. I throw on my Keds, and make my way
to my desk where all my books reside. I pick up my Biology and English books, and
head to the car garage. This is where my 1984 Ford Tempo lives.
In the garage I see the girl that rides to school with me. Her name is Jane Mills. I
have been giving this girl a ride to class now on Tuesdays for the entire semester. We
met in class when we were assigned to work in groups. Her and I were put into a
group, and one thing led to another. You know how it is.
So any ways, her and I leave the car garage and make our way onto route 42. This
is the main road of the campus. It also has a name. Long St. We take the left out of
the garage and start towards my first building of the day. We stop at the stop sign, in
hopes of being good law-abiding students. Making my way to the tattered parking lot,
I find a spot in the middle of the middle row, in the middle section. Getting out of the
car, we go to the building and get into class.
Oh class, let the fun begin. This part of the story has no importance so we’ll jump
After class Jane and I say our good-byes and head our separate ways. She is all
done with classes at this point, though I have to drive back across campus to my
At my car I find a flyer for the local band, “Mockchild.” It’s some band that plays
evil, evil music. The lead singer I guess tried to leave the band, and the other
members ate him. That is why they have a new singer. I carefully take the flyer and
make sure that the entire piece of paper hits the ground, making sure that not a bit of
it gets in my car.
Off I go onto the way to my new class.
“Wow, It’s bright out. And it’s so sunny,” I thought.
I take the turn onto Prescott St. and that’s when it happened. Taking the turn, I feel
a thump, and them a gruesome scream and a crunch underneath my car. I quickly stop
the vehicle and hop out. Not quite sure what to guess, and hoping to God that it isn’t a
person, I run to the front of the car. This is where I see the carnage. I see parts of a
human being strung across the front of the car. Pieces of flesh, a portion of hamstring,
and just a hint of finger. I fall to my knees in agonizing guilt, and that’s when I see
the rest of the man underneath the car.
“He’s still alive!” I yelled out.
Several people in the small crowd that was now forming made their way to their
cellphones, and call for help. I look down into the guy’s eyes, which are a really great
colored blue, and ask if he is ok.
“Oh dear God! My legs! I can’t feel my legs!” Was the reply that I got.
“Oh sir, I am so sorry, I didn’t see you there!”
“ You slut! You stupid *censored*ing bitch! How the *censored* didn’t you see me! What are
you? Some dumb…Arrgh!”
“Don’t worry mister, The paramedics are on the way.” As I was saying this, I found
myself starting to get that squishy feeling in my loins that I get around a hot guy.
“For the love of Christ! Somebody shoot me! End the pain!”
I hear the sirens, and look up to see the local authorities, fire trucks, and
ambulance racing down the street. When they get there, the man in the blue suit gets
out of his car and makes his way towards me.
“Ma’am, what just happened here?”
“ Officer, I was just driving to class. And, and, I was taking this turn, and…I didn’t
even see him! Oh God I am so sorry!”
Ma’am, please come over here, we need to sort some things out.”
I make my way to the cruiser, and on the way, I see the firefighters lifting the car
up and scraping what’s left of this poor guy off of the ground. All I can think of is that
I am so screwed, I am going to go to jail for years, and I’m never going to be the same
The police officer then nicely hands back my license, turns me around, and ever so
not gently puts the cuffs on.
Ok, here’s the tricky part, I am now going to shoot forward in the story, but we are
still in the past. I am just jumping to the court part.
I walk into court with my new power suit. Being bailed out of jail and being able
to get a good lawyer has made me a bit happy. We get to our wooden table of justice,
and take a seat. Then he rolls in.
This poor guy who I hit and now has no legs comes rolling into the court in his
wheel chair, being pushed by one of the most unattractive nurses I had ever seen. For
some reason though, his face had not been touched. His eyes were still beautiful, and
his strong muscular arms complimented his stiff cheekbones.
He makes his way into the court, and rolls up next to me.
“Hey, you want to go grab lunch after this? If you say yes, then I’ll drop the
I could not drop an offer like this.
“Of course, of course I will.”
When the judge entered, he sent his lawyer up to give the judge the news. With
minimal commotion in the courtroom, all was ended.
Outside, we started talking,
“Hi, my name is Steve McLickins. What’s yours?”
“Oh, my name is Jill Stiffbags. I am so sorr…”
“Don’t worry about it. You hitting me was probably the best thing you could’ve
done,” He interrupted.
We made our way to the outside, when we heard a commotion.
“They’re here! Aliens are attacking! We have no defenses! Help!”
“They’re taking over the city. They cannot be harmed by conventional weaponry!”
With that a blast of pure alien laser cuts Steve into half. His head falls off and rolls
down the stairs.
“I guess I’ll never find out why me hitting him was the best thing ever,” I thought
as I ran down the stairs and into my car.
Starting the engine, I drive to my dorm as fast as possible. When I get to my
building, I watch in horror as it is engulfed in devil flames. People are swan diving
out of the 12th floor trying to escape the fire of death, only to become road pizza.
Thinking quickly, I get beck into my car and drive to my grandmother’s house on
the other side of town. Dodging people of fire, and the alien onslaught, I finally make
it to my destination. This is where the story gets really sick.
I run into the split entry ranch home that brings back memories of Christmas
dinners gone by, and head up the stairs to the kitchen. To my horror, I see the aliens
filming a twisted porno with my grandmother. There she is getting filled up more than
a Thanksgiving dinner, and she actually likes it!
One of the Aliens turns around and notices me. I tried to run away. But I lost the
use of my legs. The next thing I know, I am on the ground with 3 of these, huge,
purple, two eyed creatures from another planet looking at me. This is the part where I
Opening my eyes, I wince at the light above me. After they adjust, I look around to
see that I am obviously not on earth any more. I am on the alien spaceship up in s
space. I know this because I can see out the window that there is only about one half
of the earth left. The other side seems to have resided somewhere in the infinite
beyond. Trying to move my arms, I notice that both them and my feet are tied down
to a table like structure. For some weird reason though, I feel oddly comfortable, and
not in fear. I then hear a sweet voice call to me.
“Do not worry. You are perfectly safe. Though your planet has been….
compromised, you are perfectly ok. We have saved you from dying for one reason.
To help us repopulate our planet”
Hearing this makes me think back to the episode to my grandmother’s.
“Um, what were you guys doing with my grandmother?”
“Don’t worry about that. A couple of the guys here captured by her and made to do
her sick little sex games. She has been liquidated.”
The straps come off of my feet and hands, and I sit up. Still not feeling any fear, I
take a full observation of my surroundings. One wall is a full window to space, two
are a darkish green-black that reminds me of an H.R.Gieger painting, one wall is
seems to be a mirror.
“But why me? Why am I so special? Are their any more?”
“We chose you because you are the chosen one. There are no more from your
planet. We have others in your situation from all over the universe. We are a people in
need of females. We want to repopulate our planet with really interesting and nifty
animals. That and Al here thought that you were hot.”
“Al? Who the hell is that?”
Here walks in from some sort of hidden door in one of the Gieger walls a tall, dark
purple alien. He seems to be dressed, with what look like pants and a shirt. There does
not seem to be much of a difference between these aliens and us other than that they
are purple and about an average two feet taller than us.
“Hello, Al. How did you get that name? Sounds very human, not to mention that
you all speak perfect English”
“That is because of the Quasi-Ear Inflictor. It is an attachment put into your ear
while you were asleep that allows you to hear and understand us. We all have one. By
the way, you look very pretty. Can I sit down next to you?
“Huh? What? Uh, yeah, why not?”
He seems pretty hot for an alien. This does seem to scare me though, as an alien
from some far away place is putting the moves on me.
“Hey, so uh, I can guess that you are pretty lost as to what is going on? That is ok,
everything will come out just fine in the end. All you have to say is that you will
“What?!? Marry you? I don’t even know you! You’re an alien! It would never
“That is ok, I have read many a dating book from your libraries. Would you like a
flower? How about possibly some chocolate? I read that girls like chocolate.”
I do not know why I started to think this, but I actually thought that marrying him
was not to bad of an idea. I mean, there is no more earth. College is done. So is Rod
Hugebone, what else do I have to live for?
“Sure! Why the hell not.”
This is where the story hits the present. Here I am, two earth years after that day. I
have three kids, one blue, one purple, and one who’s color is similar to my own.
They seem to be exceptionally smart, and are able to answer any enigma thrown at
them. They also seem to have to ability to fly and do cartwheels with great accuracy.
Their names are Bleb, Stank, and It. They all love their mom and dad very much, and
though I am not sure as to there gender, Al tells me that on their day of their
Birthright, we will find out. My life is pretty easy. I get up, clean the apartment, wash
our clothes, send the kids off to intergalactic schooling, and cook dinner. Al works as
the chief mechanic for their Governmental Supreme Slothguard, or what we would
know as their space program. He treats me nice. He brings home flowers almost
everyday. He is never mean to me, has never hit me, and loves his children with all
his heart. He is the ideal mate for anyone, human or not. I am sleeping with his best
When Al goes to work, and after the kids are on the star-bus, Jim comes over and
helps me ‘do the chores.’ We end up making a mess of the whole place, and I need to
clean it up as quickly as possible before Al comes home.
I want to leave him, but I know that Jim is no good for me. He is a hopeless
alcoholic, and does not really care for me, just my earthly originality. But for some
reason, I can not be satisfied with Al. I am not a one-man woman. I never was on
earth. Al is to calm. He never wants to involve anything like whip cream or electrical
sockets in our lovemaking.
But here I am, stuck this planet that resembles all the worst parts of Earth. The
advertisements, the slime, the filth, and there is nothing I can do about it. I could kill
him, but then who would take care of the kids?
Today is different though; Al has not come home from work yet. It’s 72 after 6.9,
in their time of course. He should have been home hours ago. I am actually starting to
“Who’s going to pay for my clothes? My car? Who’s going to buy me new stuff?”
This is when the phone rings,
“Mrs. Al? Hello, This is Al’s boss. There was an incident at the site today. You
see, well Al was promoted, and we had a party for him. He is now trashed off of
galactic beer, and is dancing around with his pants tied to his ears.”
“Oh, I am so embarrassed. Is he going to be fired?”
“Oh, no ma’am. We just need you to come down here and pick him up before he
hurts himself or somebody else.”
On the ride home, Al is going on and on about how much he loves me, and how
great it is going to be with the new promotion. He is going to be making double the
pay and more benefits. I congratulate him, and pull into our garage. I get out of the
car and help him into our home. When he gets in, he falls face flat to the floor and
passes out. I call up Jim and he comes over to help me move his body.
After Jim arrives, and we move Al into the bedroom, we go for a drive to the local
coffee shop. This is where I tell Jim that after today’s scare, I have to stay with my
husband. Cheating on him is not the way, and if the kids were ever to find out, oh the
horror. After an hour or so of conversation, Jim takes me home. He understands
everything just fine. He knows he should not be doing that to his best friend.
After getting home I notice that we have new neighbors.
“Wow, he is hot” Here we go again.
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