Bible How To Be A Father Essay

Bible: How To Be A Father Essay, Research Paper How to Be a Father Timothy Parker Gary Turner, Bible 12 5-11-2001 How to be a Father I. Introduction II. God’s Example in the Bible

Bible: How To Be A Father Essay, Research Paper

How to Be a Father

Timothy Parker

Gary Turner, Bible 12


How to be a Father

I. Introduction

II. God’s Example in the Bible

A. Adam

B. Noah

C. Abraham

D. Jesus

III. Fathers in the Bible

A. Adam

B. Abraham

C. Isaac

D. Jacob

IV. God’s instructions on how to be a father

A. Ephesians 6:4

B. Deuteronomy 21:18-21

C. Deuteronomy 22:13-18

D. Thessalonians 2:11

V. Children are gifts

A.. Point Man 190, 3-1

B. Point Man 195, 3-2

C. Point Man 196, 3-3

D. Point Man 197, 3-4

VI. Fathers with wives

A. Point Man 215, 4-1

B. Point Man 310, 4-3

VII. Fathers and their daughters

A. Point Man 212

B. Point Man 212(b)

C. Point Man 213

D. Father 75

VIII. Fathers and their sons

A.. Anderson 3

B. Anderson 2

C. Anderson 137

IX. Fathers in the home

A. Putting family before work

B. Believing that family welfare is more important than earthly possessions

C. Stepfathers’ role in the family

X. Fathers as spiritual leaders

A. Dobson 37, 8-1

B. Tender Warrior 26, 8-2

C. Spending time with God

1. Set apart time

D. Five Goals of a father

1. Knowing and obeying Jesus Christ

2. Knowing and displaying Godly character

3. Knowing and loving my wife

4. Knowing and loving my children

5. Knowing my gifts and abilities.

XI. Conclusion


Being a father is one of the greatest things a man can do. Not every man has what it takes to be a father. God has only granted certain men with this very important job. In a perfect world a man becomes a father when his wife gives birth to a child, but in today’s society it is not necessarily a MAN’s wife that may give birth to his child but a girlfriend. No matter how it happens it all starts out the same way. A man and a woman have sex and then if her egg is fertilized by the man’s sperm she becomes impregnated. Taking into account that there are no problems with her pregnancy a woman will have a baby in roughly nine months. The woman becomes a mother and the man becomes a father, this does not mean that he necessarily knows what to do but over time he will acquire the knowledge it takes to be a father. God designed for men to become fathers not at an early age but at a later age so they would be knowledgeable and mature enough to be a father.

God’s Example in the Bible

Throughout the Bible there is a pattern of men being the head of the family. This was God’s design and he wanted to make sure it was followed. It all started with Adam. God first made a man not a woman. This is because it was his plan to make man the head. This pattern continued throughout the whole Bible when God wanted something done he went to men. Such as when he wanted to destroy the earth by water he chose Noah as his man.

“13And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. 14Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. 15And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits. 16A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it. 17And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to

destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die. 18But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee. Genesis 6:13-18″

Noah was the only person whom God gave the instructions to on how to build the ark. God chose to give them to a man. Another example of God choosing a man is Abraham. God needed someone to be the father of his nation and he chose Abraham.

“4As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations. 5Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. 6And I will

make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee. Genesis 17:4-6″

Abraham was chosen to be God’s man in making sure there was a nation of God’s people. The best example of God choosing men to be the leaders is Jesus. God sent his only son to come to this earth and die a lowly death. God did not have a daughter but if he did he would have still sent his son because God has called men to be leaders not women. Jesus was God’s son.

“And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.”

Luke 1:35″

Fathers in the Bible

The first father was Adam. Adam and Eve were blessed with many children and Adam became known as the father of all. Adam was not the only father in the Bible. There were many others, most of them being a better example than Adam on how to be a father. Adam was a bad example in that he gave in to temptation by eating of the forbidden fruit. “…and gave also unto her husband with her: and he did eat. Genesis 3:6 “ There were also many fathers in the Bible that did follow God. One such father was Abraham.

“6And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together. 7And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering? 8And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together. 9And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood. 10And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

Genesis 22:6-10″

As seen in the previous passage God tested Abrahams faith by telling Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac. Abraham proceeded to do just as God told him which showed great faith and obedience on Abrahams behalf both as a child of God and as father. Although God asked him to do something that would not be in Abraham’s best interest Abraham did it anyway. That is what all fathers should do but not all of them do it. Such as previously mentioned with Adam, he did not follow God’s command, and as the father of all, all now suffer because of his disobedience. God new Abraham was a good father that is why he made him the father of many nations. “ As for me, behold, thy covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations. Genesis 17:4″ God would not have made this covenant with him if he was not a good father. Isaac himself was a good father as well. When he was on his death bed he blessed his son Jacob.

“26And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. 27And he came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed: 28Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine: 29Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother’s sons

bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee. Genesis 27:26-29 “

In Bible times it was customary for a father to bless his son before he died. Isaac was a great father in that he continued this tradition although he gave the blessing to the wrong son. It was not his fault that he gave the blessing to the wrong son, he was tricked into giving it to Jacob. Another example of a great father in the Bible is Laban. Laban met Jacob and decided that his daughter was suitable for Jacob and he arranged that Jacob marry his daughter. “ and Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.” Genesis 29:19″ Laban did what every father should do he looked out for his daughters best interest and then made her abide by what he wanted. Many fathers in the Bible showed how to be a father through example one such father is Jerub-Baal. “(For my father fought for you, and adventured his life far, and delivered you out of the hand of Midian: Judges 9:17″ Jerub-Baal led through example, in that he delivered his people out of the had of Midian and fought for the people. He was a father that put others before himself. This showed his sons that they need to put others before themselves as well. There are many other great fathers in the Bible, but these are the ones that stick out.

God’s instructions on how to be a father

God throughout his scriptures gave fathers instructions on how to raise their children in God and how to be good fathers. God tells fathers not to irritate their children, but teach them the teachings of God. “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4″ In Deuteronomy God also told fathers what to do if they had a rebellious son.

“If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: 19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. 21And all

the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. Deuteronomy 21:18-21″

These instructions were given so that fathers would know what to do if there son was not obeying them. God also gave fathers instructions on what to do when his virgin daughter gets married and her husband claims she is not a virgin.

“13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: 15Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: 16And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; 17And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; 19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. 20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Deuteronomy 22:13-18″

Fathers were also expected, in the Bible, to comfort and charge their children. “As ye know how exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children,… 1 Thessalonians 2:11″ In this passage Paul was talking to the church in Thessalonica and he was making reference as to how fathers were to deal with their own children. Paul was using this as an example to show how he was dealing with the new church in Thessalonica.

Children are gifts

Children are gifts from God and should be treated as such. Not everyone can have children, so when someone has children they should be ecstatic and realize that it truly is a miracle. There is a reason for everyone being born into this world. “Every child brought into this world can make a significant contribution. Farrar, 190 “ In his book Point Man Steve Farrar makes a several comments about children being gifts. This first comment reflects on the fact that there is a reason for everyone being born. He also talks about what joy a child can bring to one’s life, especially that of a father. “ If God blesses you with children, you’ll be taking part in one of the most significant accomplishments a man can enjoy. Farrar 196″ He says it is one of the greatest accomplishments a man can enjoy. He is meaning this in that a father that has a son can look and see himself in that son and realize that it is a spitting image of himself and he can be proud of that. What father would not be proud of his son? A father can also take pride in his daughter because she may share a trait of his such as his eyes, nose or ears. A father truly finds satisfaction in seeing that he along with his wife have created a human being that has his traits. In order to truly be a good father, a father must recognize his children as gifts from the Lord.

Father with their wives

A man that truly knows how to be a father realizes very early in fatherhood that he needs the help his wife. “Listen to the input your wife gives you about each child. Farrar, 215″ Here Farrar makes a point that most men probably do not want to listen to but it is definitely important. Men have this desire to be independent in everything. They do not want to depend on anyone, especially a woman. However a father needs to depend on the mother of his children for help because she knows her kids better than anyone. They are the fruit of her loins how could she not know them inside and out. That is not to say that fathers cannot have this type of relationship with their children, it is possible, but it takes a little longer and it is little harder to obtain than it is for the mother. A father also has to treat his wife with respect. As previously stated fathers father more by example than anything else. Say a child, especially a male child, sees their father treating his wife with disrespect. The child then sees that as the norm and when they themselves get married they will believe that disrespect to one’s spouse is not bad, on the other hand it is expected. Instead fathers should be verbal about the love they feel toward their wife.”Love your wife with verbal praise. Ferrar,310″ In this portion of his book Farrar says this as to make fathers examples to their children. Fathers sometimes do not realize the impact that their example may have on their kids. Another example is a father who looks at pornography. Pornography is wrong on so many levels, but it is especially wrong for a father of a male to participate in. Again and again there are cases of young men getting tied up with pornography. One way for a young man to not get tied up in it is for him to feel that he can talk to his dad about it. However if the son notices his dad is involved in it he does not feel comfortable talking to his dad about because the dad struggles with it too. It also is not good for a father to look at pornography because that means that son might feel it is all right to look at it too. Also if a father is partaking in this sin then there is usually some pornography in the home. The home is the last place where pornography should be and a good father would make sure it was not there. A Father’s example is his most important asset.

Fathers and their daughters

Fathers are especially vital to their daughters while they are growing up. When it comes to girls, fathers are the example that young girls will look for in a boy. Farrar in his book also talks about a father’s influence on his daughter’s sexuality.

“Fathers play a strong role in their daughters’ future sexual adjustment. Women who had a strong stable relationship with a loving father usually find the adjustment to mature femininity much easier, They are usually more secure in their sexual nature and they find it easier to love their husbands.


Farrar shares that if the relationship between a father and his daughter is not loving and strong than what he said does not apply. The relationship has to be positive. Farrar also makes it a point to mention that a father is strong influence on his daughters sexual relationships. “Fathers also strongly influence their daughter’s capacity to enjoy sexual relationships in marriage. Farrar, 212″ What he is saying here is that if a father is close to her dad then she will have no trouble getting close to another man when she gets married. On the other hand if a daughter is not close to her dad then she will have a hard time growing close to her husband sexually. That is a big problem in society today. A woman was not close to her father in childhood so now she feels that she needs to fill that void with some other man. When studying girls one can decipher between the girls that had a father while growing up and the girls that did not. The girls that did have father while growing up are not the type that feels they need a boyfriend all of the time. They are more apt to stay single until the guy comes along that they will marry. However girls that did not have a father while growing up can be recognized by being a girl that feels she needs a boyfriend or some other male figure in her life. They try to fill the void of the father with another man. A daughter that enjoys a good relationship with her father will look for someone with the characteristics of her father when she is ready to get married. “ She will look to marry a man with the same positive, tender characteristics she enjoyed with her father. Farrar,213″ Here Farrar reinforces that point. An old saying says this: a daughter always marries her father. This is true in that she does not marry her father but she marries a man the shares the same features as her father. In his book Father: The Figure and The Force. Christopher Anderson says that little girls value their father’s opinion more than anyone else’s. “Clearly, the opinion any girl values most is her father’s. Anderson, 75″ This statement is true on so many levels. One such level is when a girl begins thinking about getting married if her relationship with her father was positive one then she will ask her father what he thinks of her future husband. Finally another level is when a daughter has children she will ask for her father’s opinion on certain aspects of raising her children.

Fathers and their sons

Fathers have big impact on their sons as they grow up as well. When a boy begins growing into a man the one person from he should receive information from on sex should be his father. Once a boy hits puberty his body begins to change in many different ways. Most of these changes are specific to males only therefore a young man needs to feel that he can talk to his father about these things because it is not something he wants to talk to his mother about. Fathers also need to be there to help boys get their aggression out. “Wrestling and roughhousing with dad provide the fist healthy outlet for rage and aggression. Anderson, p3″ If a boy sees that he can take his aggression out while playing with his dad it helps later life to associate that aggression with a good time, therefore causing him not to fly off the handle all of the time when he gets angry. Fathers also need to be there so boys can ask their fathers questions. A boy has so many thoughts and ideas running through his mind. Who better to ask these questions than man he looks at with so much respect, daddy. Fathers are a child’s link to the outside world. “… father is the model for the outside world. Anderson, 2″ If a boy does not have his father there, the only view he will have of the outside world is the view of a woman. No boy should be forced to suffer through that. He should be able to view the world through a man, his father. As young men progress into older adolescence they feel as though they know everything. A good father will not let this bother him, and should not make it a constant point of argument. This is because when the teenager gets older he will realize how smart his dad really was.

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

Mark Twain. Anderson,137″

What Mark Twain said is so true. Many men realize that their father is much smarter than he used to be. This usually happens around age 30. That should give the father of a teenager to look forward to.

Fathers in the home

The only way a father can be an effective father is if he is present at home. Today to many fathers are not there as much as they should be. They find work or something else to take precedence in their life. Farrar chooses to include the following point in his book. “Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs then of their children. William Penn, p199″ This shows how some could really care less about their children. Generally speaking the men that put something before their children were involved in that activity before they became a father and after having children they did not discontinue the activity. These fathers did not realize that now they have a very special activity that they need to be involved in at home. If children today are not being taught at home by dad, then who are they being taught by. Some of the absence of fathers can be traced back to when factories became present. “When factories became the source of income men had to leave home, thus greatly diminishing their ability to influence their sons. Farrar, p40″ The point Farrar makes here is a notable point. Before factories were the source of income, farms were the source of income. Every day the father would get up and go work in the field all day till it was dark. He never once left the property except for when he had to get something for the farm. Every night he was home to eat dinner and spend time with his kids. His kids would also help him so from time to time they were able to work side by side with their father and learn directly from him. When factories became the source of income, fathers would get up in the morning and go to the factory they were not at home anymore. Instead of having to come in when it got dark they would turn on the lights in the factory and then the fathers could work late into the night. After this came a trend of fathers not being able to home for dinner all of the time. There were days when kids did not even get to see their father. The kids also did not get to go and work with their dad. Only factory workers were allowed in the factories. The factory caused many problems with men being good fathers. A lot of men feel that they need to make a lot of money to be a good father, yet this is not true. The thing fathers need to distribute most is love. In his book Tender Warrior, Stu Weber comments that men lose the focus of being a father and focus on making money. “To many guys squander their vision-and then wonder why they lose their families. Weber, p25″ To make the money men are not at home they are at the office working 16 hour days going many days without seeing their children. Their focus is in the wrong place. “We focus myopically on houses and cars and stock portfolios and bank accounts and piling up stuff. Weber, p24″ Instead fathers having there focus on making sure there children get to heaven and follow God they have their focus on earthly possessions. The fathers’ focus needs to be at home. A question every father needs to ask himself is this: “how can I manage my career goals so that I am available to my children? Weber, p29″ High school is one of the most important times for any child and all fathers need to know that. Fathers need to know that their kids love it when their dad is able to watch them play or is at home in the evening os they can talk to him if they need to. Some fathers have this thought that if they are away making that their kids will love them for the things they have and will be happy that they have all of these worldly possessions. This is not true, most kids that are given a lot of things are found to be always wanting more. They are never satisfied with what they have. The thing they need the most is to know that their father cares about them and that he loves them and that is what they are not getting. Another pattern that has been seen is that if a child has a hard time connecting with his earthly father then the child will also have a hard time connecting with their heavenly father, God. This relationship is more important than any other relationship on earth but to often children are deterred from a good relationship with God because the relationship they have with their dad was not good. This is not to say that they cannot have a relationship with God, it is just harder for them to relate it to something in their life. People like to relate things to other things that are going on in their life. If they have no earthly father to relate their heavenly father to, then they are lost. Farrar is quoted in his book as saying “We’re all selfish. Farrar, p195″ He saying this to say that as fathers men are selfish to often they are thinking of themselves instead of their family. This is especially evident when a father is working long hours so that he can have all of the toys he wants but his children suffer because there dad is not there. This is why families are dying. “Families are dying all over America. They are dying on my street and on yours. Farrar, p23″ This is a particularly good point that Farrar makes. Families are dying because there is no father at home to teach his children especially his son how to be parents. They are also dying because there is not male role model. Why does one hear of soccer moms and not soccer dads? Should not the father be the one taking the kids to the soccer games and what not as well. However to often all that is heard about is the mom. In sports how often are professional players seen looking into the camera and saying “hi dad?” Not to often. Ninety-nine percent of the time a professional player says “hi mom.” Why is that? Would one not think that the greatest influence in an athletes life would be his father but to frequently it is the mother. The following statistics can somewhat relate to this.

➊ One-third of American children are not living with their natural fathers.

➋ Over fifteen million kids are growing up in homes without any father.

➌ Seventy percent of men in prison grew up with out a father.

(Farrar, p57)

These statistics show the problems there are with fathers today. As the first statistic shows there is a large percentage of kids in America that live with their stepfather. This is not necessarily a bad thing but in some cases it is. There are many stepfathers that are better fathers than a child’s natural father. On the other hand there are also many stepfathers that treat their stepchildren like crap. One reason is, the stepfather is thrown into a position of being a father almost over night. The following is an example of how one might become a step father.

John and Karen have been married for 10 years. Over these ten years they have had three kids: Bob, George and Cathy. Bob is 12, George is 10 and Cathy is six. John and Karen’s marriage is not a happy one. Every day John goes to work and he comes home to find the house a mess. He and Karen have an argument almost every night either about the cleanliness of the house or some other petty thing. One day John comes home from work and finds that he cannot get in the house. Karen has changed the locks. After Karen and John talk through this Karen asks John for a divorce and in a few months Karen is divorced and she gets custody of the kids because the mom always does. A few months go by and Karen meets Joe. Karen and Joe hit it off pretty well and they start dating. Pretty soon they decide to get married. They get married probably about a year after Karen’s divorce from John. So, that means that Bob is now 13, George is now 11 and Cathy is now seven. Joe is now overnight the stepfather of a teenage boy and another boy that is almost a teen. He also is the stepfather of a young girl. Now John has to compete with Joe for time with his kids.”

This story is a fictional story. However, there are many stories like this in America today. Fathers are being replaced by stepfathers who feel they need to take the father role. This okay if the natural father wishes to not take a fatherly role, but if he does he should not feel that he is competing with another man for his kid’s attention. The stepfather should allow the natural father to participate in his kid’s life in the natural way and not try to create problems all of the time. In the above story Joe becomes a father overnight, this is something God did not intend to happen overnight. God planned it so that men would have time to prepare to be a father, he gave nine months from the time the mother found out she was pregnant to the time she has the child. When a man marries a woman that already has kids he does not go through this time in the same manner. Yes, he does spend time getting to know the kids before he and their mom get married, but it is not the same thing. God made kids to have their natural fathers as their father. Nonetheless if a natural father is not willing to step up and be there for his kids than it is very admirable of a stepfather to fill that void. As previously stated, there are many instances when a stepfather had a greater influence on a child’s life than the child’s natural father. Fathers need to be there for their kids, both physically and mentally.

Fathers as spiritual leaders

God has called the fathers in the family to be spiritual leaders not the mothers. Throughout the Bible the example was the father as head of the home not the mother. This where the father as spiritual leader comes in. The father being the spiritual leader ties into the previous topic in that in order to be a spiritual leader the father needs to be home. Fathers should lead their families in weekly Bible studies and should make sure that there children are getting into the scriptures. If the fathers do not do this who will? However, the family Bible study cannot be a long time because the children’s attention is needed to make sure they know what God wants.

“ The one key word to family Bible devotions is brevity. Children can’t be expected to comprehend and appreciate lengthy adult spiritual activities. Four or five minutes devoted to one or two Bible verses, followed by a short prayer, usually represents the limits of attention during the preschool years. To force young children to comprehend eternal truths in an eternal devotional can be eternally dangerous.

Dobson, p37″

In his book Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions, Dr. James Dobson says the previous statement to get parents to realize that trying to keep a younger child’s attention can be harmful to their spiritual life. Fathers need to be in the home have family devotionals, but they do not need to be suffocating there kids. One would not think that he or she could get to much God, however at a young age it can be harmful. If a father forces his children to sit and be still for long periods of time then they will become bored and not want to do that. To often fathers can be found doing this with home devotionals. Instead of making it a fun time where everyone is enjoying themselves it becomes a time of hassle for the parents to try and keep their children quiet and still. If parents of younger children would approach the family devotional with a more open attitude that says fun instead of harsh learning then the kids would get more out of it and so would the parents. Also, if a child has a bad experience with family devotionals at a young age then they can possibly have spiritual problems at an older age. This is because they are associating something bad with God. Although this child may not realize it in the back of their mind every time God is brought it up it triggers the past and makes them think about the bad time whether they want to or not. So, to avoid that problem fathers need to make sure family devotional time is encouraging to the whole family. Another spiritual leadership role that a father should take is one in the church. A good Christian father needs to make sure that he is an active member of his church. Not just for him but for his kids as well. What better church leader for a child to have than his own dad. Fathers need to make sure that they are present at church and that in his family church attendance is required. A father also needs to make sure that while he is at church he is singing and praying and taking whatever opportunities he can to show his children how a Christian should be. This is not only at church but in every aspect of life. This is especially important at church because there needs to be a certainty that the church will not die out when the present generation dies. If fathers pass on the habit to their kids then the habit will continue for generations. However, to often fathers take a back row leadership at church. Instead of stepping up and doing what needs to be done they sit and wait for someone to come tell them what needs to be done. Fathers need to be men that will step up and go out their way to make sure all of the Lord’s work is being done. If a father does this then his children will definitely view as one of the most spiritual people they know. That is more important than one may think. A pole was taken of about forty teenagers. The pole asked one simple question: Who is the most spiritual man you know? Now take in mind that this pole was taken at church of about six-hundred. Most of the kids who were poled have fathers that attend that church. Out of the forty kids poled only about four said their father. There is something wrong with that. Fathers need to be the most spiritual men that their kids know. If a father is not the most spiritual man, he needs to do some serious life altering. A good father is the most spiritual man that his kids know. Fathers are the spiritual leaders in the home. If a father is not the spiritual leader in his home then something is wrong. One way a father can be a good a spiritual leader is by making sure there is time set apart every week to spend with God.

“If thirty minutes three times a week, provides the necessary endurance for the physical, then would it be off-base to suggest the same schedule might give me endurance for the spiritual life. Farrar, p143″

The point Farrar makes here is an awesome point. If men were to concentrate as much on there spiritual life as they do there physical life the world that is here today would be a much better place to live in. A good father needs to make sure that he is setting time aside to have personal time with God. Another way fathers can be good spiritual leaders is to make sure their kids see them modeling certain aspects of fatherhood.

“ I have five goals…It is my job as their father to model for them the importance of:

❶ Knowing and obeying Jesus Christ

❷ Knowing and displaying Godly character

❸ Knowing and loving my wife

❹ Knowing and loving my children

❺ Knowing my gifts and abilities

Farrar, p42″

When children see their father doing these five things they will take that model and apply it to their life. Fathers need to make sure that they are being good spiritual leaders.


In conclusion without fathers today the children of America would be lost. That is why most of them are lost because they do not have a father. God has called men to take up the role of fatherhood and be good Christian examples to his children. God gives many instructions on how to be a father and hopefully all men heed to these instructions. Without God none of this would be possible so it is through him all credit is given. A fathers most important task in life is making sure his children are following God. If this is true then the father has done his job.


Anderson, Christopher P. Father: The Figure and the Force. New York: Warner Books Inc., 1983.

Dobson, James, PhD. Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions. n.p.: Living Books, 1982.

Farrar, Steve. Point Man. Portland: Multnomah Press, 1990.

God. Holy Bible: King James Version. Colorado Springs: International Bible Society, 1987.

Weber, Stu. Tender Warrior. Portland: Multnomah Books, 1993.