My Lost Love Essay Research Paper My

My Lost Love Essay, Research Paper My Lost Love It was ever so dark that evening. It hurt to look at her. It was like looking at my heart barely beating on the floor. I

My Lost Love Essay, Research Paper

My Lost Love

It was ever so dark that evening. It hurt to look at her. It

was like looking at my heart barely beating on the floor. I

couldn’t stand it. Love never hurt me this much. I can’t believe

this happened. Why me? Why her? Why us? In an instant it was

over. I remember the first time we met. It was actually kind of

funny. She was walking her dog. Actually, the dog was walking

her. I was reading a poem and walking along. When all of the

sudden, we collided. The second I looked up into her eyes, I fell

for her harder than an avalanche off of Mount Everest. I think

she felt the same way because we didn’t look away for what seemed

like 5 hours. We talked in the park for about an hour and a half.

She told me her name was Kristeen Thorne and told me that she was

a new student at Orangeville High School; the same school I

attended. We found that we had six out of seven classes together,

which was a very good thing. I asked her to go out with me that

Friday night. We went to the movies first, and then we went to

Vinnie Vicci’s Italian restaurant. The date was perfect and the

person I was with made the date seem like Heaven. We dated non-

exclusively for about one month. On our one month anniversary, I

gave her my letter jacket which I earned playing varsity

football. And while I did that, I asked her to date exclusively.

She answered my question so fast I didn’t realize that she said

yes. We started going out together almost every weekend and

talked on the phone all night and walked with each other to class

everyday, and I gave her a ride to and from school everyday. We

had been going out for about 3 months. The student body voted us

cutest couple of the year. We had to get our pictures taken for

the year book. We went to the spring dance together and were

voted the king and queen of the dance. Then the school year came

to an end. That summer we spent most of the time together. We

went to Kyber Lake for the Fourth of July weekend. My dad let us

borrow his boat for the weekend, and we stayed at a camp ground.

On Friday, when we got there, I took the boat for a test drive to

see if it was still running. It’s was working. I took her to the

little secret cove that only I knew. We stayed in that cove for

about 2 hours just talking and kissing and gazing at each other.

At that time, the only thing I was hoping for was that this

moment never would end. When I looked into her soft blue eyes, I

was completely under her spell. We would stare into each others

eyes and then kiss. Her soft, tender lips caressing mine, and all

I could do was watch the magic. She had this touch. It was like

an angel touching my soul. We went back to camp about 9 :30 p.m..

On Saturday, some friends came and camped with us for the rest of

the weekend. We were on the boat most of the time at the lake

skiing, tanning, and show- boating. The summer flew by faster

than light. When school started, our feelings had increased.

This year we only had 3 classes together, but it didn’t affect

how much we saw each other. The first few months of the school

year went by really quick. Matt, my close friend, was having a

Halloween party at his house. We decided to go as Romeo and

Juliet. Everyone thought our costumes were cute. Matt, the smart

person he is, did not allow any beer at this party, but Kristeen

and I promised each other we would never drink at parties. We all

partied our hearts out, but in the end, Matt had one heck of a

mess to clean up. As the year went on, we kept the romance

alive. It finally got to our one year anniversary on December 17,

1998. For our anniversary I gave her a 1 karat diamond necklace,

and she gave me a 24 karat chain and in the middle of the chain

were both of our names connected with two hearts. Christmas came

around and everyone was in a holiday mood. My family celebrated

Christmas with a family reunion, and Kristeen’s family went to

Sacramento to visit her grandparents. When everyone came back to

Orangevillie all of our friends exchanged gifts. I gave Kristeen

a 1 month old tan cocker spaniel, it had a bow around its neck

and was put in a hand woven basket, for Christmas. She gave me a

fluffy blue Tommy Hilfiger feather down jacket. I spent Christmas

with her. We went to the park. It was snowing. The snow, so

white, made me realize what I had. I was the luckiest man in the

world. I had someone who cared about me. Someone who understood

my problems. Most of all, I had someone who I could snuggle with

in the coldness of the harsh winter. I had true love! New Year’s

Eve came around, and our relationship couldn’t be going any

better than it was. Matt, our party hardy friend, had another one

of his parties. We counted down the New Year, and we sealed 1998

with a long, sweet, tender, romantic, never-ending kiss which

carried over to 1999. After the party, Kristeen and I stayed to

help Matt clean up his house. We felt sorry for his unfortunate

break up with Lauren. After we cleaned house, Kristeen and I

couldn’t help but kiss each other. You know that feeling you get

when your with the one you love and you just started a new year,

and how you can’t keep your hands off of each other. It’s that

feeling you get when you know that they will be there for you for

the rest of your life. Well that wasn’t it. I was just happy that

the cleaning was over, and we could go home. When we got to my

car, I looked at her and asked her, ” Do you promise me you’ll

never leave me?” She so softly answered with a twinkle in her

eye and a smile on her face, ” Yes! I will never leave you. I

will be with you for the rest of your life. That is a promise!”

We started home about 2:30 A.M. in the morning. We were driving

on Highway 45 when we came across an intersection. Our light was

green so I proceeded. Out of no where, a car with its high beams

on hit the passenger side of my car. I was sent to the hospital

unconscious. I woke up the next morning. I called for the nurse.

“Where is Kristeen?” I asked so impatiently. The nurse looked at

me with saddened eyes. I could tell what the answer was just by

the look in her eyes. ” I’m sorry. Your friend never made it.

She was dead at the scene.” She said with a soft voice. I later

found out that the car was driven by a drunk from the party that

we had just left. I couldn’t help but cry as remembered the

promise we made right before we left. Then all the other memories

started coming back. I couldn’t stop them. They just kept coming

one after the other. The more I remembered the faster the tears

ran out. I got up and started pacing around in my room. The more

I thought of her the angrier I became. I took my aggression out

by punching the walls. The nurses came in trying to calm me.

Nothing was going to calm me. I couldn’t stand it. I finally quit

punching the wall and fell to the floor. All I could do was sit

there and cry as I remembered every single day of our

relationship. It’s wasn’t fair. It should have been me. I should

have died, not her. Suicide did cross my mind that night in the

hospital. It has been a month since that day, and everytime I

look at her picture it hurts me so much I could die. Everyday I

think about that night, and what I could have done to prevent her

death. One thing is for sure, love has never hurt me this much

before. That next day I went to her grave. “Umm….. I wrote you

this poem. It’s about you and what I thought you were thinking

when I was at the hospital. ” I said as the tears ran down my

face. ” I can’t believe this happened. You weren’t ready to go. I

wasn’t ready for you to…….” I had to stop because I started

to choke up. ” I wasn’t ready for you to go. No one was. Remember

our promise? Well I won’t let you break it. You will always be

with me. Right here.” I said as I hit my chest. ” I hope you can

read this from your spot in Heaven.” I said with my tear filled

eyes as I was setting the poem on her grave. This is what the

poem said, “Death Of An Innocent I went to a party Dominiq, I

remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, so I drank

soda instead. I really felt proud inside, the way you said I

would. I didn’t drink and drive, even though the others said I

should. I know I did the right thing, I know you were always

right. Now the party is finally ending, as everyone is driving

out of sight. As I got into the car, I knew I’d get home in one

piece. Because of the way you loved me, so caring and sweet. We

started to drive away, but as you pulled out into the road, the

other car didn’t see us and hit me like a load. As I lay there on

the pavement, I hear the policeman say, the other guy is drunk,

and now I’m the one who will pay. I’m lying here dying, I hope

you get there soon. How could this happen to me? My life just

burst like a balloon. There is blood all around me, and most of

it is mine. I hear the medic say, I’m running out of time. I just

wanted to tell you, I swear I didn’t drink. It was the others.

The others didn’t think. He was probably at the same party as I.

The only difference is he drank and I will die. Why do people

drink? It can ruin your whole life. I’m feeling sharp pains now.

Pains just like a knife. The guy who hit me is walking, and I

don’t think it’s fair. I’m lying here dying and all he can do is

stare. Tell my sister not to cry. Tell Dad to be brave. And when

I go to heaven, put “Daddy’s Girl” on my grave. Someone should

have told him, not to drink and drive. If only they had told him,

I would still be alive. My breath is getting shorter. I’m

becoming very scared. Please don’t cry for me. When I needed you,

you were always there. I have one last question, before I say

good bye. I didn’t drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?”

” I know I have to get on with my life, but I will always love

and cherish you. Our love will always be like the stars eternal

shine.” I said as I wiped the tears from my face. ” One more

thing before I go, I love you! Remember that!” I looked at her

grave imagining her face. I stood there for a couple of minutes

not saying a word. Then I turned and began to walk to my car.

When I got into the car, I sat there, remembering, one at a time,

all the things we did together. The final thing I saw was the

twinkle in her eye and the smile on her face when she promised me

that she would never leave me. Then I drove home knowing, I would

never get to kiss her sweet, gentle lips good night ever again.