Fine Art Of Wasting Time Essay, Research Paper
The Fine Art of wasting time
As I ponder the question of wasting time, many ideas come to mind. What To write about? I could write about my wasted time at school, the time that I should spend studying, but don t. I could write about my time on the weekends, when I should be studying, but instead I go out and party. In fact, as I review my life, I find a lot of things I do are a waste of my time. I m finding that I could qualify as a professional time waster. In fact, if you look at this essay, you ll find that in my musings I m wasting time trying to focus my thoughts on one true wasted thought. AAAAkkk!! This whole preceding paragraph is a waste of paper. Now one would think that I would remove it. However I think it sets the stage for the rest of this essay. The progressive steps on wasting time.
Step one usually looks something like this: searching through your minds eye, locate that spot deep within yourself that manages your time. Now this may sound a simple enough task, until you take into account that a large part of wasting time is existing in a very disorganized state of mind. A disorganized mind is a crucial part of the time wasting plan, without it you d arrive at a real thought far to soon. Keeping yourself searching for a real thought, will in the end waste almost 30% of your total time.
Step two will be the quest stage of time wasting. You have wasted a total of 30% of your time already just looking for a good idea or thought to waste time on. Now you have the first seed of an idea, but you need to focus on it, love it and care for it. Hope and pray it continues its growth into a full fledged idea. This process of mulling over the seeds of an idea can take upwards of 25% of your total time to waste (TTW). The fruits of this mulling process can look much like a grasshopper trying to jump out of a closed bottle. Jump .Smack, fall down. Wow the air got hard. Jump ..Smack, fall down again. Hmmmm, air is still hard. Jump .smack, my brain has hit a bad sector reboot. Jump .Smack, that thought is too large for current memory .reboot. This painful process can be real strain on a person. With perseverance, you to can eventually develop a fully formed idea.
Currently 55% of your TTW has been used up and you now have a fully formed idea to act with. Lets say for the sake of argument you ve settled on doing homework. With a gasp of horror your mind now reels with wonder, How, dear mind could we have come to this conclusion? Homework! Nooooooooooooo, not that, no homework. tada at least another 10% of your TTW has been used just in that process.
Ok so it is settled your going to do homework, ouch. 65% of our TTW has been used. With all of this mulling, pondering and searching, you ve come to realize this is some thirsty work. Off to the kitchen you go, it s snack time. At least another 30% of your remaining time will now be spent on a rampaging munch fest. At this time it is necessary to park your hind end into a chair and enjoy some T.V. With the T.V. running you will burn at least another 25% of your total TTW, now you may be asking, how is this possiable? When we last went to math class 95% plus 25% comes out to equal 120%. How can this be? What has just happened is, we went on through the Total Time to Waste and graduated right on into the time we can t afford to waste. So here we are on our bum, in a chair, watching the idiot tube, knowing that there isn t a way we can do homework. We re already running late for that party everyone is going too. Gotta go, see you in class.