This cycle: threat ? assimilation ? Narcissistic supply ? overvaluation ? anti Narcissistic behaviours – devaluation ? suffocation ? paranoia ? rebellion and disintegration, characterizes not only the family life of the Narcissist. It is to be found in other realms of his life (his career, for instance). At work, the Narcissist, initially, feels threatened (no one knows him, he is a nobody, he may not be the most unique one here, etc.). Then, he develops a circle of admirers, cronies and friends which he “nurtures and cultivates” in order to obtain Narcissistic supply from them. He overvalues them (they are the brightest, the most loyal, with the biggest chances to climb the corporate ladder and other superlatives).
But following some anti-Narcissistic behaviours (a critical remark, a disagreement, a refusal, however polite, are all sufficient grounds) ? the Narcissist devalues all these previously over-valued individuals. Now they are stupid, lack ambition, skills and talents, common (the worst expletive in the Narcissist’s vocabulary), with an unspectacular career ahead of them. The Narcissist feels that he is misallocating his resources (for instance, his time). He feels besieged and suffocated. He rebels and erupts in a serious of self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours, which lead to the disintegration of his life.
Doomed to build and ruin, attach and detach, appreciate and depreciate, the Narcissist is predictable in his Death Wish. What sets him apart from other suicidal types is that his wish is granted to him in small, tormenting doses.