Courtship And Its Relevance Essay, Research Paper
Married life now comes and ushers in its morning glory and they are happy as a happy pair can well be, for a while. But “life is real,” and character is real and love is real. When life’s reality comes they find things in each other’s characters that perfectly startle them. Every day reveals something new and something unpleasant. The courtship character fades away, and with it the courtship love. Now comes disappointment, sorrow, regret. They find that their characters are entirely dissimilar. Married life is a burden full of cares, vexations, and disappointments. Marriage is a lottery. They know it. Some may get prizes and some may not. No one knows before he draws whether he will draw a blank or a prize. This is their conclusion. They did not court in the right way! They courted by impulse and not by judgement. It was a process of going steady and not of discovery. It was an effort to please and not a search for companionship. It was done with excitement and not with calmness and deliberation. It was done in haste and not with cautious prudence. It was a vision of the heart and not a solemn reality. It was conducted by feeling and not by reason. It was managed as to be a perpetual pleasure and intoxicating delight and not a trying ordeal for the enduring realities of solid and stubborn life. It was a yielding up of everything and not a firm maintaining of everything that belongs to the man or woman. In almost every particular it was false and was followed by evil consequences. All similar courting is not good. They voluntarily blind themselves and then blind each other. They “go it blind” till their eyes are opened in marriage. It is necessary for the youth of both sexes to be perfectly honest in their relations with each other. To always exhibit their true character and nature. Dishonesty is a greater barrier even than ignorance to a proper understanding of the real character of those whom we plan to marry. Some men and women are not true to themselves. They put on false characters. They assume airs not their own. They shine in borrowed plumes. They practice every deception for the concealment of their real characters. They study to appear better than they are. They appear in each other’s society to be the embodiment of goodness and sweetness. They are full of human weaknesses and frailties.
The object of courtship is the choice of a companion. It is not to charm, gratify, or please simply for the present pleasure. It is not for the present sweets of such an intimate and confiding relation. It is simply and plainly for the selection of a life companion. One who must bear, suffer, and enjoy life with us in all its frowns and smiles, joys and sorrows. One who can walk through all the intricate and irregular changes in the course of life.
This is a companion. One who is kindred in soul with us. Who is already united to us by the ties of spiritual harmony. The union is the object of the courtship to discover. Courtship then is a voyage of discovery. A court of inquiry established by mutual consent of the parties. To see in and to what extent there is harmony existing. If in all these they honestly agree and find a deep and thrilling pleasure in their agreement. If they find their union gives a charm to their social relations. If now they feel that their hearts are bound as well as their sentiments in a holy unity. That for each other they would live, and labor, and make every personal sacrifice with gladness. That without each other they would not know how to live, it is their privilege and their duty to form a marriage union. And it will not be a lottery. They know what they are to give and what they are to get. They will be married in the full blaze of light and love. They will be married for a happy, virtuous, and useful union to bless themselves and the world with a living type of heaven.
In overview, courting should only happen once and ends in a life-long covenant relationship. Dating happens lots of times, and ends in many hurts, heartbreaks, scars, and if you’re lucky, a partner that just may stay with you for the next few years, or the rest of your life.
In the modern dating scene you usually hide all your faults to give a false impression about yourself, in order to keep your partner liking you. Recreational dating is about self-gratification that you date to satisfy your own needs.
Courtship is about open and honest exploration of each other’s lives and families leading up to engagement and marriage. Courtship is about marriage you court in order to see if there is any reason why you shouldn’t get married. There is no romantic interaction until after the commitment to marriage.
Courtship is a word that has been adopted to describe a biblical model for the relationship leading up to marriage. In the Bible, the parents were always involved in the marriage process. They did not arrange the marriage without the children’s’ consent, although they were certainly involved in the arrangements. Sometimes the parents found partners for the children, and then the children were consulted for their opinion. Other times the son would approach the daughter’s father and make arrangements with him.
Courtship is not done over a short time. The period for courtship involves a long period of time, in this way couples should prepare themselves intelligently in order for marriage to come on its place. It simply means that the couple should know well about each other, its more than getting to know and to like each other and because of that they must go through a lot of obstacles in order to make their commitment stronger. We must not forget that to love a person is to give yourself to that someone. Sacrifice should be involved in order for that couple to love one another. Courtship means allowing the couple to grow in virtue and overcome their defects. Trying to discover the extent of each others capability must also be done in order to make the relationship of the couple more ecstatic. They should also find out whether they are really into marriage or not, this means that the couple must have the true desire to get married. Without this desire and hope, true love cannot flourish during this courtship.
Courtship is a stage in preparatory for marriage. It may include many kinds of behavior in order to win the consent of another to a marriage. For the result of a happy marriage, serious courtship must be done in order for the marriage couple to work out. Courtship not only involves the mutual understanding of the couple but it also demands the lovers maturity and reflection. Marriage is lifetime decision that must not be taken for granted.
How does courting really work? From what I have read in the books, courting happens when a young man comes to know a young woman and is attracted to her. Seeing in her the wholesome qualities of a Christian wife and mother, he concludes that both he and she are ready for marriage. In getting to know the young lady, the young man seeks to discover if the feelings he has about her are mutual. This is done on a casual basis. They chat in the foyer at church or politely converse over the telephone. Maybe they run into each other in the office or see each other in Sunday Mass or other casual meetings. He always treats her with brotherly respect. Once it is clear that their feelings for one another are mutual, the young man goes to her father and requests permission to court. The father has a serious discussion with him to discover if he is spiritually and otherwise ready for marriage. The father speaks with his daughter to find out how she feels about the young man. If he is satisfied that the young man is acceptable, that the feelings of the two are mutual, and believes that the young man may very well be God’s choice of a husband for his daughter, he gives his permission. This is only permission to court, not to marry. The parents provide a protective environment in which the couple may court. They will have dinner with the family at home or, when suitably chaperoned, they may have dinner out. There will be plenty of group activities with their friends from church who recognize them now as a couple who are courting. Because private conversations are now very important for this young couple seeking God’s will in the area of marriage, the parents will make sure that they have opportunities for such conversations while at the same time insuring that they are not being placed in temptation. If the couple decide to marry, the young man again approaches the father of the young woman and asks for her hand in marriage. If the father is satisfied that such a marriage is in the will of God, he gives his permission and blessing on the union. When the courting has ended and the engagement has begun, the sexual temptations will actually increase. However, after a couple have become engaged they will have much business to attend to together. They will have to acquire a marriage license and possibly make arrangements to rent an apartment or buy a house. Parents will need to provide greater freedom for them trusting that God will protect them from temptations when parents are not around to chaperone them. Because the temptation to engage in sex before marriage is now greater than ever the engagement should be no longer than a few months or weeks. Remember, they were ready to be married to someone when they began to court and they have now said, and you have agreed, that they believe God wants them to be married to each other. A long engagement should not be necessary, nor, from a temptation standpoint, is it advisable.
Courtship is an old and cherished tradition in which a young man and woman, who are ready to marry, spend time together in a protective environment so as to give serious consideration as to whether they should be married to one another.